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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845372">Romanticist</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemnism/pseuds/gemnism'>gemnism</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, College, Connie Springer - Freeform, Connie x Reader, F/M, NSFW, Slow Burn, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, aot - Freeform, attack on titan - Freeform, connie springer x reader - Freeform, snk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:42:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,910</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845372</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemnism/pseuds/gemnism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[MODERN AU COLLEGE AU] It frustrated you to watch him pick everyone except for you, part of you knew it was his way of giving you some sort of cruel punishment. Punishment for not speaking up about Sasha back then- punishment for allowing him to get his heart broken while you just sat and watched from the side.</p><p> </p><p>this work can also be found on wattpad! (i keep the story one chapter ahead in updates there) under the same title and my username is the same as well!!! make sure to show some love across platforms!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connie Springer/Eren Yeager/Reader, Connie Springer/Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>198</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You had always been there for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time he scraped his knee on the rough rubber tiles of the playground you were both 5 years old. You remember watching his small body curl up into a fetal position. The way he tried to hold in his tears and whimper out to you, assuring you that he would be okay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time he was insecure about himself you were both 13 years old. You watched all of the boys in school get their growth spurts handed to them in the blink of an eye. Kids had grown a generous 3-5 inches that summer. He was still a humble 5’2. You watched him overcompensate for his height with his bright personality. The way he’d laugh just a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>loud, or the way he’d never seem to take things seriously. The way he made himself appear so </span>
  <em>
    <span>big</span>
  </em>
  <span> when in reality he had never felt so </span>
  <em>
    <span>small. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time he had a crush on a girl you were both 16 years old. Her name was Sasha. You remembered how part of you wanted to hate her with everything in you, because why did </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> get to be the one to have his heart when you were there all along. You also remembered how fucking likeable she was- and that no matter how much you wanted to, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time he had his heart broken you were both 18 years old. You watched how his smile got emptier with each day, how the light in his eyes got dimmer and dimmer. You remembered how helpless you felt because you knew that no matter what you said or did, it wouldn’t fix anything. You remembered the way he became a recluse that summer after graduation- you almost didn’t hear anything from him at all until that fall. You remembered the way your heart sank when you saw him again for the first time, but it wasn’t really </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. His face was more mature and settled in, his laugh was quieter, his attitude much more noticeable. He looked like his innocence was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now you were seated next to him in his campus apartment, sprawled out on the couch as he explained his plans for that night with you and his close friend Jean, who was seated on a stool across from the two of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what you mean to tell me…” you raised your eyebrow in his direction, only taking your eyes off your phone for a split second. “...is that you plan on going to this party, and not sleeping with anyone? Like not a single person?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know Connie doesn’t mean it since when has he followed through?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can both of you shut up for the love of god.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since his freshman year of college he decided that he would only indulge in hookups- and frequent ones at that. He had a tendency to sleep with about three new girls every weekend- along with the occasional guy if he was feeling it enough. It frustrated you to watch him pick everyone except for you, part of you knew it was his way of giving you some sort of cruel punishment. Punishment for not speaking up about Sasha back then- punishment for allowing him to get his heart broken while you just sat and watched from the side. It was a punishment that he in turn was taking out on everyone around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even if I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> decide to fuck someone tonight” Connie stood from his seat, turning towards his dorm room. “That wouldn’t be either of your business. I’m grown, Jean you’re grown, and Y/N you’re grown. We’re all grown, so maybe it would be better if you two were more concerned with your own sex life instead of mine.” He grabbed a large grey sweater for himself and accompanied it with a similarly styled black sweater that he tossed in your direction.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we going for a smoke?” You stood up from your seat as well, leaving Jean to his own devices. With a swift nod he made his way towards the balcony near the living room, and you followed close behind- just like you always did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as you made it to the balcony you wrapped the sweater around yourself in an attempt to shield yourself from the brisk air. The familiar smell of cannabis filled your nose as you watched him light the joint in his hand, taking the first pull in the process. His silver buzz was finally starting to grow back in since he shaved it a year ago on his 19th birthday, and his eyebrow piercing that was the same shade as his hair barely glistened against the cloud covered sunlight. You could stare at him for hours if you had the choice to. Everything about him was perfect to you, the softness of his skin, the slight button of his nose, his contrasting hazel eyes-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna stare forever or are you gonna take a hit of this?” he tilted his head towards you, snapping you out of your temporary trance as you took the joint from him and inhaled smoothly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re both just worried.” He continued. “It’s not really a secret, but I can take care of myself y'know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You watched as he looked down at the campus beneath the two of you and he smiled pathetically to himself. You inhaled again instead of answering, both unsure of whether you wanted to answer and what you should have even said in response. You weren’t used to him being vocally self aware. He had a habit of internalizing everything ever since the two of you were kids, this was the first time he was close to openly admitting anything. After a brief pause you decided to grunt in response as you passed the joint back to its owner. You watched him take another hit before finally deciding to speak.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know. I know you, Connie. I trust you. Always.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” He clipped the joint on the railing and shoved the remainder back in his pockets as he let out a long sigh. “It’s almost 7pm, you should probably start getting ready now unless you wanna show up to the party by yourself. I won’t wait for you if you’re late.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You raised your arms in defeat and let out a small laugh while making your way back inside, knowing Connie was following right behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going, I'll be back in an hour don’t leave me. Jean make sure he doesn’t leave us behind, got it?” You continued heading for the apartment door, pointing at Jean as you walked past him. You grinned as he gave a passive wave in response since he was too interested in whoever he was texting to fully pay attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Muffled “Bye’s” were heard through the door as you exited the apartment, leaving a small grin on your face. For the first time in a few months you were genuinely excited to go out tonight. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tonight’s gonna be different.</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Bitch are you gonna let me in or not?” your head snapped towards the door completely taken aback by the voice of your roommate. You could barely make out the sound of her voice with the music you had blasting in the room while you were getting ready.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You made your way to the door with haste and opened it, revealing an irritated (to say the least) Ymir. With a playful eye roll she pushed her way past you and headed straight for her wardrobe, each movement more rushed than the last. Ymir was known for constantly leaving her dorm key in the room- or at her girlfriends’ dorm, so this was no new occurrence for you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry I didn’t hear you knocking, the music’s loud.” you admitted while putting on the finishing touches to your makeup. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ymir grunted in response, completely uninterested in what you had to say and immersed in getting ready as quick as she possibly could. Taking that as a sign that you should do the same you pulled your favorite pair of boots from beneath your bed and put them on. They were a mid thigh high matte black platform boot that fit perfectly snug on your feet, also giving you an additional 3 inch height gain. From the corner of your eye you caught your roommate gawking at you in surprise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s too much isn’t it?” you began, pointing at the short red mesh dress you wore along with your boots. The look being good wasn’t necessarily a debate, but whether or not it was really you was the question. “This isn’t me right? I should change.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not the usual but you look great, don’t sweat it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You nodded in response knowing that Ymir would be the last person to lie to you- especially about your appearance. You threw on Connie’s sweater that you took along with you from earlier and layered it with your oversized leather jacket, finally deciding that the look was finished. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The time. The realization that you completely lost track of time suddenly hit you and you frantically began searching for your phone, praying that it wasn’t 8 o clock yet. Even though that was your best friend you knew that he wouldn’t hesitate to leave you behind if you were late. He wasn’t the type of person to expect patience from. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing a hold of your phone you quickly turned on the screen, a deep sigh of relief escaping your lips as you read the digital numbers, 7:45. You had 15 minutes to drag you and your roommate over to his dorm before you were left behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready yet? we’re gonna be late I don’t want any drama, you know how he can get.” You turned off the music and made your way to the door once all of your belongings were gathered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I’m putting my shoes on now just give me a fucking second, you know I never make us late.” You glanced over at where the voice was coming from and you watched her as she tidied up her hair a bit before scrambling to get her shoes on. She was always a bit disorganized but at the very least you knew she would never make you late, but that didn’t stop you from poking fun at her occasionally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Two minutes. That’s all I’m giving you.” A series of vibrations ran through your hand and you immediately looked down at your phone knowing exactly who the texts were coming from. A series of “where are you”s  and “time’s almost up be here soon”s came from both Jean and Connie simultaneously. Eyes rolled, you opened the door and began to make your way down the hall without a second warning, and a disheveled Ymir following slightly behind you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a slow 8 minute walk across campus the two of you finally reached their dorm. The music blared through the entire hallway, and you knew they had already started pregaming without you. Knowing that the door would already be unlocked you welcomed yourselves into the apartment, and your eyes immediately fell onto the open bottles of liquor spread out on the kitchen counter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone was eager to get started.” you snorted at Jean, who was already drinking his mixed concoction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I made you a cup too m’lady.” He handed you a clear glass that was sitting on the counter beside some of the bottles. “You look great, by the way.....you too Ymir.” he nodded towards the brunette who stood stiffly behind you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a generous sip of the mystery drink the lanky boy handed you, your eyes scanned the apartment searching for those familiar hazel eyes but they were nowhere to be found. As if he could read your mind Jean pointed towards Connie’s room signaling that he was still in there. Without a second thought your legs carried yourself over to his room, and without a knock you opened the door revealing a frantic boy. As if he didn’t notice you entering the room he continued to repetitively put on and take off a series of different shirts, cursing to himself in the process. You had never seen him this worried with his appearance before, the sight almost reminded you of the way things used to be when you were younger. It was endearing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like that one on you.” He froze and turned towards you, pointing at the black deconstructed sweater he wore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can basically see my nipples through the holes and it’s cold out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even better, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a genius Y/N.” he rushed over and kissed your forehead gently, careful not to spill the drink in your hand. “I think we’re ready to head over then!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of you sulked in silence as you watched him pour himself a drink for the road and make his way towards the door. He hadn’t even glanced twice at what you wore- not even after all that effort you put into your look. Jean had said something, even Ymir had said something about how good you looked, but like he always did- or didn’t do, Connie said nothing. Forcing your disappointment down your throat you took more sips of the drink, each sip bigger than the last in an attempt to finish it before you left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the drink was finished you followed the group out of the apartment and towards the party venue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---------</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the four of you approached the block you could see large groups of people pouring outside of the house, all liberated and enjoying the night. This was the first time in a while that you were going to a party this big. Most of the parties that you went to on campus were usually just small get-togethers or kick backs, but this….this was different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who the hell is hosting this?” you asked as you started to feel your lips tingle and heat up from the alcohol finally making its way through your system.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sasha’s.” The silver headed boy quickly spoke. Everyone's eyes looked over at him, searching for evidence of him being bothered, but there was none. Before they broke up he and Sasha agreed to go to the same college together, fully convinced that they would benefit from being closer to each other year round. How tragically wrong they were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that why you’re not-” you started. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Let’s just go, we’re not even gonna see her while we’re here, don't make a big deal out of it, I’m not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jean instinctively grabbed your hand as the four of you made your way inside, trying to make sure you wouldn’t get lost in the crowd. Once inside you watched Connie immediately make his way to the table full of drinks in the kitchen. He was pouring shots. Waving you guys over to where he was he poured four full shots of tequila. Too lazy to search for any salt or lime he quickly shoved the glasses into each of your hands, and the four of you cheered together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To a good fucking night.” Ymir cheered, and Connie mirrored the words back to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the alcohol made its way down your throat your eyes rolled as you winced at the warmth spreading throughout your body. You were known for being a lightweight. A single glass of wine and a seltzer was enough to get you partying for the night, and you had already consumed much stronger than that and the night had only just begun. The bass of the music was pumping through your body and you felt yourself start to sway and bounce to it almost against your well. You were starting to lose control of your body.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the alcohol worked its way through your body you could feel the heat in the house rise and you almost instantly regretted wearing so many layers. As you pulled off the sweater and jacket combo and placed them on a stool near the group you could swear you felt eyes on you. The sensation burned through your skull almost like paranoia, and almost immediately you heard a smack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s enough looking, you perv.” you watched Ymir land another two smacks at Jean’s head in almost a playful matter and he cowered slightly, nodding in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry it was basically second nature.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kirstein, who the hell is this?” You heard an unfamiliar voice call out from behind the group. As your eyes followed the direction that Jean’s head was turned in you could see where the voice was coming from. Before the four of you stood a fairly handsome guy with relaxed jeans, a generously low cut v-neck, and a messy bun. He reached his hand out to you almost instantly, as if he forgot that Jean was there to begin with. His smile was bright and inviting, and his large green orbs almost just as entrancing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y/N, who the hell are you?” you joked back, trying to return the same energy he sent your way as you took his hand warmly. You could feel Connie watching the interaction closely and you wondered if he was also familiar with the mystery man before you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeager, Eren Yeagar. Nice to see you out here tonight” Shoving his hands back in his pant pockets he turned his attention back to the rest of the group in an attempt to not seem dismissive of the others. As they all got acquainted with him you watched as your best friend began pouring himself another shot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noticing you starting his movements down he reached his hand out to take your glass from you in order to refill the cup, and you let him. Once he handed you back your shot you didn’t waste a second shoving the burning liquid down your throat, causing a look of amusement from the boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not playing around tonight huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I’m not. It’s been a while you know that.” You retorted. Shrugging in agreement he tossed his head back, drinking the shot he poured himself before responding to you in the same way he always did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just make sure you’re careful.” He was always like that. Painfully nonchalant when it mattered the most, and overprotective when it wasn’t necessary. If you didn’t know better you’d think he was doing it purposefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning your attention back to the rest of the group you immediately notice the new acquaintance staring you down like it was the first time he had ever seen someone of the opposite sex. The gesture was almost amusing because you were more reserved than the rest of your friends so that kind of attention was something you didn’t allow yourself to experience often. Even as Jean continued whatever conversation he was having with his friend, the strangers eyes were locked on yours. They were the deepest green you’d ever seen in your life and you momentarily found yourself lost in them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The more the alcohol set in, the deeper of a trance you found yourself in as you stared at him. The way his lips slightly curved as he spoke, the warmth of his voice, the way his eyes said a million words to you without him physically having to say a thing. You were completely entranced by him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So why is this the first time I’m seeing you.” It took you a moment to realize that he had actually spoken to you, and that it wasn’t meant for Jean. Upon the realization you felt your cheeks burn even more than they already had been, you were on fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t tell you, but I can definitely ask the same thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can make up for lost time out there.” He nodded his head towards the group of sweaty bodies moving against each other in a collective rhythm. With a silent nod of approval from you he didn’t waste time grabbing your hand with the perfect amount of force as he led you to the large group. With each step towards the mass you felt your heart pound in your chest louder than the last time. You almost wanted to mentally chastise yourself because you knew if you were sober you wouldn’t have had the guts to follow him, but this was your night- you had a pass this one time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eager to get started your hands immediately wrapped around his shoulder and he mirrored your actions, wrapping his hands tightly around your waist. His body was incredibly warm to the touch, and his skin was so fucking</span>
  <em>
    <span> soft</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Your body began moving faster than your brain, totally of its own volition. One of your hands made its way to the nape of his neck, slowly making its way up to his silky hair. You couldn’t help but take deep satisfaction in the look of pure contentment he gave as your bodies pressed together. It was so good you almost convinced yourself that you were completely smitten, and that your mind wasn't focused on the boy with silver hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And </span>
  <em>
    <span>god </span>
  </em>
  <span>did you love it.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3 [NSFW]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Time seemed to move in slow motion as your bodies continued to move in sync, pressing deeper and deeper into each other as if the two of you were trying to become one. It had to have been at least an hour that the two of you were like this. You could feel his hands move down your back at a slow, careful pace that made you feel like you were losing your mind. His hands finally found rest on your ass and you looked into his eyes, not breaking eye contact because you knew it was driving him mad. You watched as his eyes searched yours with desperation, as if he could uncover everything that went on in your mind with his gaze alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Almost too abrupt for you to register what was happening he spun you around by your waist, pressing his body flush against yours. The vibration from the bass pumped through your body as you continued to grind against him, everything about this moment was perfect. The way he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, the warmth of his breath hitting your skin. The way he squeezed your hips harder each time you moved your body against his like he was holding on for dear life, afraid of what would happen if he were to let go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you’re amazing.” The vibration from his voice hit your neck perfectly and your eyes fluttered shut, too consumed in the feeling of ecstasy you were in to do anything else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as you were getting ready to make a flattering comment of your own, you could suddenly make out Ymir’s familiar voice not too far off from where you were. Opening your eyes immediately at the commotion you spotted Historia being lifted and spun by your brown haired roommate, it wasn’t until she was put down that she noticed you in your own world not too far from them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y/N!!” She waved at you, flashing her usual bright smile and you swore you could see her bright blue eyes glisten from across the house. Pulling yourself off of the boy you were with you quickly gave him a reassuring look, holding his hand whispering “i’ll be back” and hoping that in the short time you went to greet your friend he wouldn’t disappear on you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hastily making your way over to the blonde haired girl you felt your face break out into the largest smile you’ve given the entire night. Historia wasn’t typically one to go out and party so it was a pleasant surprise to see her for what felt like the first time in forever. As you greeted each other with hugs she explained that she was only there to spend time with Ymir- even though they had already spent the entire day together prior to the party, but in her words she just couldn’t “spend the night alone”. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire group was still gathered together in the same area, completely unbothered by what was going on around the rest of the house. Your eyes scanned the area hoping to still find Eren lurking  nearby, and to your pleasant surprise there he was- standing with another unfamiliar boy with ginger hair deep in conversation. Smiling to yourself momentarily glad that he hadn’t left you hanging just yet, another familiar voice snapped you out of your trance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna sleep with him?” Your head turned towards the direction the voice was coming from. Right beside you was none other than Connie, grinning lazily as he took a sip from his drink and raising his eyebrows and looking between you and Eren as if he was expecting an immediate response. “You’ve got that look, y’know...the one you do when you’re whipped.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s that look, you know what I’m talking about. It’s almost the same look that you give-” Almost instantly he stopped speaking, as if the words accidentally left his mouth without any thought. You watched his face contort from embarrassment as he downed the rest of his drink, shaking his head in dismissal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He noticed the way you looked at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t know which was more frustrating, the fact that he actively knew how you felt about him yet rubbed it in your face without even intentionally doing so, or the fact that he didn’t seem bothered by it at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a hot guy I don’t see why you shouldn’t.” He tried covering his tracks, but the attempt was more embarrassing than the initial slip up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe.” Was all you said before excusing yourself from the group once more and making your way back towards the newly acquainted stranger. The closer you got you watched as his eyes landed directly onto yours, like was anticipating your arrival. That same warm inviting smile greeted you, and the red headed boy he was talking to immediately excused himself from the area. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you weren’t ditching me!” He joked, holding out one of his hands for you to take. “Take it. Follow me.” Without protest you gently placed your hand in his, wondering where he intended to take you. As you took his hand he immediately started walking the two of you through the house, rubbing your palm with his thumb to assure you that you were fine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are we going?” You felt heat pool at the bottom of your stomach both from anxiety and arousal as he led you up a staircase that was crowded with people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You already knew where you were going. You already knew what was going to happen once you reached the top of those stairs. Part of you just thought that maybe if you asked him out loud he’d feel some sort of embarrassment and regret taking you with him, but he didn’t. Of course he didn’t. Without any word of reply you submitted, following silently as he led the two of you into a bathroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of muffled music and laughter was the only thing you could hear, the room being uncomfortably silent as the two of you stared at each other, wondering who would make the first move. He leaned against the sink counter and scratched the back of his neck lightly, messing up his bun in the process. It felt like a lifetime went by while you continued to stare at him and you watched as his eyebrows furrowed slightly like he was grappling with himself. Like he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to go through with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck it.” You could barely hear him whisper the words before grabbing you by the waist with his left hand, pulling you flush against his warm body, and holding the back of your neck with his right. The moment you were situated in between his legs his lips softly crashed into yours in such a swift movement you were almost completely caught off guard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A low throaty moan escaped your lips for a split second, unable to hold it in by the sudden unexpected sensation he gave you. The way his lips moved against yours was enough to make your knees go weak. His lips were sickeningly sweet with the slightest taste of salt from the beers you assumed he had to have consumed that night, and holy fuck did the taste drive you mad. You gripped onto his shirt for some sense of stability as he moved his right hand to wrap around your throat, applying the perfect amount of pressure against your airway. For a split second you dared to wonder if this was what it would be like to kiss your best friend. Would he handle you with the same amount of care? Would he be rougher? Gentler? What would his lips taste like? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before you could allow yourself to be consumed by your thoughts Erens movement pulled you back to reality. Lifting himself from the counter he slowly walked you backwards, refusing to break the kiss or ease up on your throat until you were seated on the lid of the toilet seat. Sloppily dropping yourself onto the seat you whined as he pulled away from the kiss, looking down at you as he stood towering in front of you. His grip on your throat tightened ever so slightly and you tilted your head back in ecstasy, slowly coming undone by the simplest touch. Without consciously realizing it you felt your hands make their way to the hem of his pants, unbuttoning them hastily and fighting to get the pair of jeans down his legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look so pretty from here.” He started, taking his other hand and gently rubbing your bottom lip with his thumb. Slowly pushing his thumb into your mouth he hissed at the contact of the warmth from your tongue pressed against his thumb, and you began teasingly sucking it at a slow pace, ever so slightly bobbing your head and looking up at him, maintaining that same eye contact that you knew had him on a leash. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally getting the barrier out of the way you softly dragged your fingertips against the outline of his hardening length, moving with a painful slowness that you felt his grip on your throat tighten even more, almost losing control of his actions as he began to lose himself in the pleasure he felt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you did this shit on purpose I swear to god Connie-” The voice immediately stopped as the door opened, revealing a flustered Sasha with some sort of spilled substance on her top. Both of your heads snapped towards the door as it opened and Eren's hand immediately left from its grip around your throat. The two of you stayed frozen, unsure of what to do as the silver haired boy came into sight, unaware of the situation. Without assessing the situation he opened the door further, attempting to get to the sink and that was when he realized he had just walked in on the two of you- with his ex.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The two of you scrambled to get yourselves together. Reaching down to help Eren with his pants you pulled them back up with one swift movement. Allowing him to handle the rest on his own you stood up from your seat, first side eyeing the boy in front of you as to how anyone was able to enter the occupied space to begin with. There was no way he was actually dumb enough to forget to lock the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the hell did they get in here, you locked the door right?” Moving out of your compromised spot you pulled yourself together, attempting to tidy your hair from any possible misplacement the events prior could have done to it. Without a word in response he just stood there looking innocent which was a sharp contrast to the way he looked no more than 5 minutes prior. His mouth opened and closed about three times, trying to find words to say in his defense, but he was at a loss for words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling you from your heated glare directed towards the brown haired boy came a loud obnoxious laugh from your best friend- who was still humiliatingly staring at the situation. Your attention was now focused on the pair that walked in on the two of you, and you couldn’t help but feel anger building in your core. The likelihood of him bumping into Sasha was something that didn’t even cross your mind because just like he said earlier- there was no way that would happen, but here you were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I asked if you were gonna fuck him I meant like on an actual bed, not a bathroom you idiot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad to see the two of you are on good terms now.” Silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Any lighthearted mood that filled the room was sucked out by your words. You didn’t even know why you said it, there was no reason to be as aggressive as you were but you couldn’t help it. The sight of her standing there with a smile on her face, her hand grazing his as if she didn’t completely ruin him just less than two years ago. What made it worse was how unbothered by it all he was. He was always so </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> unbothered. Like he too forgot about all of the pain she caused him, all in one simple interaction, and the thought infuriated you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired of this.” You could feel everyone's eyes fall on you as he said this. The tension in the room got thicker by the second, so thick that you thought you would start choking on the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tired of what? Me looking out for you?” You hoped to god that he would drop it soon. You hoped to god that this wasn’t going to be the start of a legitimate fight between the two of you because you knew how cruel he could be when he was upset. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m tired of your shit, y/n, I’m tired of the way you make me feel guilty all of the fucking time just because it happened to be Sasha that I picked back then and not you!” You felt the brunette shift beside you and you watched him awkwardly walk out of the cramped space, not wanting to be part of whatever altercation this was becoming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not fair Connie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is that not fair is that not the truth? You know how sick it made me feel to watch you pretend to like her when we hung out together? when I </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> you wished I never met her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well what about you, Connie? Huh? What about you?” You choked out the words, desperately trying to stop the suffocating sensation from your throat as you felt your face get hot and the tears threaten to expose yourself. “You haven’t stopped punishing </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> for what </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> did to you. That whole summer you shut me out and treated me like shit Connie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had nothing to say in response. At first you had thought that he was silent because he felt bad- or because you were right in what you said, but soon after you saw the color drain from his face. In one swift movement he was curled over the sink, puking his guts out. Taking this as an opportunity to get yourself out of the painfully embarrassing situation you pushed your way past them and made your way back down the stairs that you came up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a series of repeating “I don’t feel well” and “I’m going home” to all of your friends that you arrived with you left the house party, making sure to take the layers that you came with because you knew you had a long cold walk ahead of you.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>----------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Entering your dorm you struggled to get your boots off, already mentally and physically exhausted from the night you almost couldn’t be bothered. You decided that a shower was the least you could do for yourself, stripping your clothes off and tossing them into your hamper that stayed beside your bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon entering the shower the scalding water hit your skin in the most satisfyingly relaxing way. It was as if all of the words that stuck to you- everything that happened to you that night, washed away with the soap and hot water. After a moment you found yourself crouched in the shower, hugging yourself as the warm water hit your back, and you just sat there. You sat and thought about how everything seemed to go horribly wrong right before your eyes, and if you were being honest with yourself you knew it was your fault. You hated yourself for instigating the situation, but you knew you couldn’t help it. You knew it would have been worse if you had watched him make the same mistakes a second time, you knew you would’ve felt responsible for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But you also knew that everything he said was true. You knew part of you resented him for picking her over you. You had always been there for him- from the beginning. It wasn’t fair that she got to swoop in and be the first to have his heart, only to carelessly break it. None of it was fair and you couldn’t wrap your head around any of it. You were always mad about how much he took his heartbreak out on you, how much he punished you for something that you didn’t do. But you were also punishing him. Punishing him for the pain you felt he was responsible for. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You couldn’t remember how much time you spent in the shower, holding and comforting yourself before you could make out a faint knock at the door. Scrambling, you rushed out of the shower and threw on a robe, not bothering with your wet hair since you figured it was just Ymir trying to get back into the place you shared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m coming Ymir just give me a sec!” you yelled as you scurried through the dorm, headed towards the door. Once you got to the door you opened it quickly, ready to give her a lecture about remembering to carry her own key so you wouldn’t have to keep doing this- but it wasn’t her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here.” You wished that your heart sank at the sight of those hazel eyes in front of you. At least then you would have some sort of shame for the earlier events, but you didn’t. Your heart leaped and you felt it in your throat, stopping you from forming any words as you stood there frozen in your spot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came to apologize, what else dummy.” He attempted to lighten the mood like he always did, his goofy smile not quite reaching his eyes, but the sentiment still holding the same value. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stepping to the side you allowed him to walk into your dorm and you watched as he made himself comfortable on your bed, patting the space beside him signalling for you to sit. Deciding that you had enough opposition for the night you made your way over to your bed, sitting in the spot that he patted and you looked at him waiting for him to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was drunk, and I was out of line y/n.” he began. You barely made out the shakiness in his voice and you watched as he stared at his hands, unable to even look you in the face. “I know that you’re just worried-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you were right.” The words made him freeze, still unable to look at you. “You were right about everything you said, but I’m not gonna apologize for how I feel… and I don’t expect you to apologize for that either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So where do we go from here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know.” You replied honestly. “But we can address that tomorrow, or any other time that isn’t the middle of the night after we were out drinking.” You heard him let out a soft chuckle, his warm smile making its way back on his face just the way you loved to see it and he nodded in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before you could protest he was already taking off his shoes and removing his pants, tossing them on the floor beside the bed before crawling in your bed. Raising your eyebrows at him questioningly, you stood from your spot and grabbed a pair of underwear and an oversized shirt that you planned on changing into. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re gonna crash here unannounced the least you could do is close your eyes while I change.” You heard him mumble something along the lines of “nothing I haven’t seen before” referring to the numerous baths the two of you took together as small kids back in the day, and the fond memory made you smile as you rolled your eyes and put your underwear on without removing your robe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eyes closed for this part manwhore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright alright fine.” He slapped his hands over his eyes playfully, respecting your wishes as you quickly threw your t-shirt on and hung your robe on a hook in your wardrobe. Without warning you jumped in the bed with him, bringing yourself under the warm covers and allowing your body to lay on about half of his chest. Normally Connie would protest since the two of you weren’t big on cuddling with each other, but part of him secretly liked the way your leg would drape over him, or the way you’d hum in contentment from the warmth he gave you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loved the way you made him feel at peace, like he was home.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Your eyes slowly fluttered open, attempting to adjust to the blinding sunlight that shone directly in your line of vision. For a moment you had forgotten that the boy was laid beside you, the memories of every event that occurred the night before smacking you in the face all at once. Grimacing from embarrassment you groaned softly, tilting your head up just enough to get a glimpse of the boy peacefully dozed off beside you. His chest softly rose and fell in a sweet slow rhythm. His lips were parted slightly letting out a barely audible snore, and his nose would scrunch up every now and then in response to whatever caught his attention in his blissful sleep. Taking advantage of the privacy you had you peppered small kisses against his chest, daring to place one on his cheek even. At the soft touch you felt him move beneath you, rustling and clearing his throat as he brought one of his arms around you, hugging you closer to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You done yet?” He muffled, voice raspy and slightly cracked from its fresh use. Instantly regretting your decision you groaned louder while hiding your face in his chest, refusing to look him in the eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you were sleeping.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But you decided to go to town on me while I was knocked out you dummy.” The both of you shared a warm laugh and you lightly slapped his chest, rolling your eyes as your body shook with laughter. “Also, apologies for ruining your moment with Yeagar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mentally cringing even more than you had already been you squirmed in his hold, squeezing your eyes shut and smacking his chest repeatedly. There was no way that was the first thing he wanted to address given the circumstance. If you didn’t already want to crawl in a hole and die from embarrassment you sure as hell did now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God Connie why are you bringing this up </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” He laughed even harder upon hearing your response. You cursed quietly to yourself as his body shook violently against you, and he began petting your head, gently caressing your hair as you felt him shrug in response. “What even was that anyways?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I spilled her drink on her.” You turned to look up at him with eyes wide, assuming he meant intentionally. “Accident I swear. I just turned around and wasn’t looking and I bumped right into her.” He continued caressing your hair and you felt his warm lips press against your forehead for a brief moment that you wished would last longer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How did that go, was it nice catching up with her?” He snorted in response and you felt him vigorously shake his head. </span>
</p><p><span>“I don’t know y/n you tell me you were there for it.” Deeper into the hole of embarrassment you felt yourself crawl. Mentally chastizing yourself for asking such a dumb question you softly slapped your forehead. </span><em><span>Of course</span></em> <em><span>it was horrid you turned the party into a telenovela</span></em><span>, you thought to yourself.</span></p><p>
  <span>“Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought we weren’t saying sorry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, sorry.” He tapped your head at the sound of another apology leaving your lips. For a few moments the two of you sat there deep in thought as the comfortable silence filled the room. It was moments like these that you were thankful your roommate essentially lived in her girlfriend’s dorm, knowing Ymir if she didn’t have Historia to bother you would have been the next candidate. It was hard enough getting her to leave your room even during the short moments that she wasn’t with her girlfriend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How was it though? Y’know before we interrupted. He seemed to be enjoying himself.” He said, rubbing the compromising position he caught the two of you in deeper into your wound of embarrassment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t get to do anything, asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The look on his face when he left was priceless, I think if we weren’t so heated in our argument I would’ve fucking lost it right then and there.” By this point you were repeatedly hitting his chest, mentally begging him to stop causing you the painful humiliation that he was taking so much pride in. He mirrored your actions, playfully smacking your head for each time you hit his chest, refusing to go down easily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you trying to concuss me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t be the only one hurting right now, it's only fair.” Despite his words he stopped, sighing in contentment as he looked down at you. His eyes glistened from the rays of sunlight that crept in through the window. You swore you had never seen a more beautiful sight and you hated yourself for it. The light bounced off of his eyebrow piercing and it was like he was glistening. The light redness in his cheeks and flushed pink of his lips just made him look softer than he already was, you were down bad. You knew that part of the reason why you had so much difficulty staying upset with him was because in your mind, he was too beautiful to stay mad at. You couldn’t picture a life where you weren’t able to bask in his beauty every single day of your life- it had always been that way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound of his stomach grumbling against your ear snapped you out of your daze and you stood up lazily, sifting through your drawers for a pair of bottoms to throw on. You could feel his eyes watching your every move as you settled on a pair of baggy sweatpants and slid them on carelessly. Turning back to face his direction you tilted your head towards the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“C’mon let’s go cook something. You’re hungry.” Sulking, he sprawled himself across the bed at the thought of having to physically get up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t you just make something for both of us? Why do I have to get up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you don’t cook you don’t eat.” Still wanting to oppose he reluctantly got up from the bed, not bothering to put his pants back on as he followed you into the kitchen area that you shared with your roommate. His deconstructed sweater barely covered his briefs, and you couldn’t help but glance at them when you turned to look at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you not speculate the size of my penis while we make breakfast you freak.” Curiosity killed the cat. You waved your hand in dismissal as you rolled your eyes. He was clearly getting a kick out of embarrassing you that morning and you weren’t gonna let him have the satisfaction without a fight at the very least. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like you weren’t staring at my ass while I got dressed, it’s natural to be curious isn’t it like human nature or some shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Second nature like Jean likes to say.” The both of you laughed at his response in unison. You opened the fridge, pulling out onions, peppers, and eggs before grabbing potatoes from one of the cabinets. Reading your mind he pulled out a cutting board and some knives. Holding his hand out for the various foods you handed them one by one, and watched as he rinsed them off and began cutting on his own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna let me cook my own food, Mr. ‘can’t you cook for the both of us’?” you joked as you stood beside him. Shaking his head, he continued cutting at the peppers and potatoes with quickness and ease. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, I’ll do it, you can just sit there and look pretty.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>This</span>
  </em>
  <span>...this is modern feminism, feel free to clean the place up too while you’re at it my dear maid.” The side of his hip rammed into your own in response to your words, laughter filling the sweet silence of the place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch it I’ve got the knife here.” He pointed the tool in your direction, giving you a fake intimidating look as he raised his eyebrows playfully. Your hands rose in surrender, taking a step back as you feigned fear, causing the laughter between the two of you to grow. You couldn’t imagine a better way to start your day off as you watched him silently, paying attention to the way the muscles in his hands flexed as they cut everything perfectly. Part of you wished that this moment would never end, that the two of you would just continue to live the rest of your lives in your own little world only concerned about the other. It was your idea of perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The two of you had essentially spent the entire day together, only separating from each other for a brief moment to allow yourselves to freshen up. You were cuddled up on the couch in his dorm the same way the two of you always did, your head peacefully rested on his lap as he and Jean bantered back and forth over what movie the three of you should watch. The three of you had assorted snacks and drinks sprawled out on the coffee table between yourselves and (per your request) a pile of blankets in front of the couch in case you were in need of extra warmth. Movie nights were almost a daily tradition that you guys kept up since the two of them moved in together at the beginning of their freshman year and you had yet to miss a single one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t see what’s wrong with a little romance every now and then, it’s not gonna kill you.” Jean argued, pointing at the uninterested boy you were rested on. Jean voted on watching ‘Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind’, but of course Connie was opposed. Romance wasn’t his thing (</span>
  <em>
    <span>clearly</span>
  </em>
  <span>), Instead, he wanted to watch-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Superbad is a great movie. I just don’t understand why you’d willingly want to make yourself cry when that’s right there.” The silver haired boy argued in his defense. Shaking your shoulder lightly he tried to drag you into the argument, hoping that you would vouch for his recommendation and save him from his personal hell that was romance movies. “Tell him, y/n. Wouldn’t you rather watch Superbad? We literally love that movie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like the sound of Eternal Sunshine...Jean you have my vote put the movie on.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m never making you breakfast again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good because that tasted like shit.” He held a hand up to his heart as if you had just broken it and he squeezed his eyes shut, groaning as his head tilted back. You could hear Jean’s yells of victory as he set up the movie, taunting the other who was still shot down in his seat dreading the next two hours ahead of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of the way through the movie the two of you had shifted on the couch. Preferring to lay as well he insisted that the two of you spoon instead of him just laying on the ground beside Jean. The space was cramped, barely holding the two of you as he hugged you close to his chest trying to ensure that you didn’t accidentally fall from your spot. The compromising position stole all of your attention from the movie, you weren’t used to being spooned by him. It was enough of a fight to convince him to allow you to let you sleep in the same bed as him on occasion, let alone spoon you on a small couch. You knew something had to have been up with him, even thinking back to that morning he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>awfully</span>
  </em>
  <span> touch-y, and skinship had never really been his thing- at least not with you. There were so many places that your mind went, so many questions that you wanted to ask yourself. Was it because he felt bad about last night? Did Jean say something to him? Did it have to do with Sasha? Was there more to everything that he wasn’t telling you? There were so many moments when you wanted to just come forward and ask him, you wanted to finish the talk that the two of you were having last night but you were also afraid of ruining the atmosphere the second night in a row. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His warm breath tickled the crook of your neck as he rested his lips there. The action was innocent, but you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks light on fire from the simple interaction. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He just had no space,</span>
  </em>
  <span> you told yourself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The touch meant nothing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“y/n.” His voice softly rang in your ears, stealing your focus away from your thoughts. “Are you seriously watching this?” Every word he said tickled your ears from how close to you he was, and each word got softer and softer in an attempt to not bother the boy sitting in front of the two of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really.”You admitted honestly. A low hum came from his throat in response as he absentmindedly squeezed your arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you my choice was better.” You felt a soft nip on your shoulder, causing you to yelp in surprise as you turned your body to swat him for the random act. Completely forgetting about how cramped the space was, you felt yourself start to slip off of the couch only to be caught by him before your feet had the chance to kick the bystander resting on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch it, clumsy.” He flashed a goofy smile as you held onto his shoulder for dear life, praying that you wouldn’t slip backwards. Noses touching from the closed space, you became painfully aware of just how close you were to him and how your little stunt only made things worse. You couldn’t help but look at his lips that were only centimeters away from your own, it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>painful</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The reflection of the tv shone in his hazel eyes that you noticed were also stealing glances as your lips, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he was aware too.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You couldn’t wrap your mind around what happened next fast enough as his lips gingerly pressed against yours, barely applying any pressure. It was like he was testing out the way they felt against his own, like it was pure curiosity. Your eyes widened momentarily, trying to grasp the situation you were in. Deciding the feeling was satisfactory, you felt his lips apply more pressure against yours, moving slowly against your own- the two of you were perfectly in sync. You had been kissed a fair amount of times in the 20 years you’ve lived, but you’ve never been kissed like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> before. There was so much care, so much hesitation, so much meaning in that one action. It was the most sensual kiss you had ever experienced. You had always fantasized about how soft you thought his lips would be, or how amazing they’d feel pressed against your own but god you weren’t expecting something like </span>
  <em>
    <span>this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time you were able to fully grasp what happened his lips were already pulled away from yours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna go to bed.” Just as quickly as he had kissed you he was getting himself off of the couch and making his way to his dorm, leaving both you and Jean- who had heard the whole thing- at a loss for words. The bliss you felt was immediately replaced by frustration as you sat upwards, hands gripping your hair as you looked down at your feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the fuck was that.” You said to no one in particular. You couldn’t tell if you were left with more questions than you had before, or if the situation clarified any of them. Nothing made sense anymore, you didn’t know the person that you called your best friend, for the first time ever you had no idea what was going on in his mind and it left you unsettled and exhausted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The roommate in front of you turned to face you, hand rested on your knee in consolidation as he tried to find the words to say to ease your clearly disturbed mind, but there were none. Jean always had something to say, no matter what it was he was always good with his words when it mattered the most. He was always the one that you looked to for advice, or just for a voice of reason or a sense of reassurance- but this was the first time he had nothing to say on Connie’s behalf. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can walk with you back to your dorm, it’s dark out I don’t want you to go out by yourself.” His voice was barely above a whisper as if he was still concerned about interrupting the dialogue in the movie that no one was paying attention to. Unable to form any words you simply shook your head, not wanting to cause any obligation as you stood up from your seat. If anything, you knew that you would need to walk by yourself in order to get some proper fresh air and attempt to make some sense of what just happened a few minutes ago. Without another word you walked out of the apartment, waving a lazy goodbye at Jean who was watching you with a pathetic expression on his face and you couldn’t help but feel worse about your situation. You knew it was bad when even Jean was pitying you. With each day that went by you realized that you were mistaken when you thought that you knew your best friend inside and out. The reality of it was that you had no clue who this person was anymore, you were just holding on to the version of him that you </span>
  <em>
    <span>used</span>
  </em>
  <span> to know. This was a stranger. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The comforting smell of burning marijuana filled your nose as you lit the joint in your hand. The sunlight shone perfectly against your skin, warming you slightly against the still air. You could hear the boy beside you sigh as he stretched his arms out, smiling brightly at the scenery before him. It was Jean’s idea to go out and smoke for a bit, he knew that if he didn’t do anything you would have locked yourself up in your room every day aside from attending class- and he was right. It had been a week since you were there last, and since you saw the person who you considered to be your best friend. After that night you texted him an embarrassing amount of times. You initially tried acting like nothing happened that night, hoping that he would play along and things could go back to the way they were. You even cursed him out, telling him that he was being an asshole and that you didn’t deserve the way he was treating you. You hoped that maybe that would receive at least some sort of reaction from him but it didn't. Realizing that he wasn’t planning on speaking to you regardless of what you said, you had finally given up. Whatever Connie was dealing with he clearly had to figure out on his own, and you had to come to terms with that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You inhaled the smoke and held your breath for a moment, dropping your head and resting your forehead on the railing as you let out a long exhale. You almost didn’t agree to go see Jean because you worried that if you did you would bump into Connie in the process, and you didn’t know if you were ready for that confrontation yet. The brunette assured you that you wouldn’t- because even he hadn’t seen or heard much from his roommate in the past week either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to tell you something.” You lifted your head and turned to look at your friend who stood beside you, waiting for what he had to say. “I spoke to Historia the other day.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You could feel your stomach for reasons unknown. Your intuition was never wrong, and it was telling you that you didn’t want to hear what he was about to say. Taking another pull from the joint you nodded slowly to yourself, bracing yourself for whatever he was getting ready to tell you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s been hanging out with Sasha again.” He paused, watching your face for a reaction to see if he should continue with what he was saying. Your face was expressionless, almost as if you didn’t hear him at all. You continued nodding in response, assuming that wasn’t the worst of what he had to tell you. “That night at the party, after you left….they were both mia for a while, y/n.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Putting the two pieces of information together you hummed in response, taking yet another pull from your joint. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course </span>
  </em>
  <span>he didn’t tell you the whole truth that night. You weren’t surprised if you were being completely honest with yourself. You had a bad habit of romanticizing people, only seeing them as the version of themselves that you’ve created in your head- and Connie had it the worst. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t get why he thinks he can’t just talk to me. That’s all I want.” You replied honestly. If anything hurt you out of all of the things that he’s done recently, it was the fact that he was shutting you out again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he doesn’t trust himself around you.” You rose your eyebrows, making a face at him as you waited for him to explain what he meant by that. “I don’t know, I just have a feeling. I haven’t spoken to him much so I personally wouldn’t know. If you want to handle it though his class ends soon so he’ll be here within the next hour or so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You told me he wasn’t gonna be hanging around.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He isn't, he hasn’t been here the whole time you’ve been around, right? If you don’t confront him in person I don’t think you’ll ever hear from him again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You knew he was being honest, and you knew it killed him to keep things from you. Jean had never been the type to keep secrets from you, in his eyes you were almost like a sister to him and all he wanted was to see you happy. There were only two options for you at this point. You could leave now and not have to deal with Connie, at least not </span>
  <em>
    <span>today</span>
  </em>
  <span> while you were completely blindsided by all of the news Jean relayed to you. Or, you could stay and wait for your best friend to arrive and force the confrontation out of him- which could either fix or ruin your friendship depending on how it went. Both of the options seemed far from satisfactory since they both would essentially ruin your friendship, and it made you wonder </span>
  <em>
    <span>had the friendship reached its expiration date?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Part of you figured that this moment was bound to come, since you were 14 you knew there would be a day where he would no longer be in your life. You just didn’t know </span>
  <em>
    <span>when</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The wind blew harder against your skin and you felt goosebumps appear all over your arms and you instantly thought of when Connie lent you his sweater. It almost gave you whiplash thinking about how things made a complete 180 degree turn in just the span of a week. 15 years of friendship compromised in 7 days. The thought made you laugh bitterly out loud to yourself, and you could feel Jean shoot you that pathetic look he seemed to reserve specifically for you lately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’m gonna go.” Before he had the chance to protest and convince you to wait it out with him, you ashed the joint on the railing and chucked it at the campus beneath you. As you walked out of the balcony and into the apartment your feet froze in place, watching as the doorknob twisted in front of you. You wanted to shrink, become invisible, teleport, anything to get you out of this situation that you were essentially forced into. The protests from the brunette behind you came to an immediate halt as he noticed what you were looking at. Without another word he sped past you and locked himself in his room which you figured was his way of “helping you out” by giving the two of you privacy. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat as a sudden wave of nausea overcame you, watching as the door swung open. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion- or at least that was the only way your brain allowed you to process it without giving you a full blown anxiety attack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hazel eyes immediately fell on yours as the door closed behind him and you watched the color drain from his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> stung more than anything. You never thought that you would see the day where the boy that you grew up with- the boy that you called your best friend, visibly dreaded the sight of you. You chewed at the inside of your lip, not knowing if you should speak first- or if you </span>
  <em>
    <span>could</span>
  </em>
  <span> even speak. The two of you allowed about a minute or two to pass while you stared at each other, frozen in place and not knowing what to say to the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here.” He took the initiative and spoke first, but his body language was the same. Trying to search for words to say you took a deep breath and pointed at the door to Jean’s room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just here, Jean invited me. I was just on my way out.” Silence followed your words for a moment as if he expected you to walk out as soon as you said it. “But...we should talk.” You forced the rest of the words out, instantly regretting them as soon as they left your lips. His eyebrows furrowed and you watched as the frustration he was in became apparent. You couldn’t help but feel guilty because you knew that once again, you managed to ruin whatever good mood he might have been in that day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you not understand that I don’t want to speak to you right now? Or was me not replying to your texts not clear enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jean was the one that insisted that I should talk to you, okay? I almost didn’t come over here because I knew this would happen, and I knew you’d pull this shit on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So why the fuck did you come then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t know what to say at that. You couldn’t be mad at anybody but yourself for the current position you were in because despite Jean insisting that Connie wouldn’t be there you </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he was bound to show up at some point. You knew that if you </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to avoid him you wouldn’t have agreed to hang with Jean at his place. His towering figure made its way towards you and you were caught off guard as he gripped your wrist, pulling you roughly into his room with him. A loud slam echoed throughout the silent apartment as he slammed his door shut behind you, and you flinched as he turned towards you, pointing at you from a safe distance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would you like to fucking talk about then, huh? Where do you want to start, since we’re both already here.” You hated the way he made you feel like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> were the one that kissed him that night, like </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> were the one that had left him in the dark time and time again. It was like no matter what you did and what approach you took you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> the bad guy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s start with how you lied to me the night of the party, I think that’s a pretty good place to start don’t you think Connie?” He dropped his pointed finger, knowing he was completely caught up in every white lie he told you between then and now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just to clarify-” you started, taking a few steps towards him as your voice got louder and the heat in your face became almost unbearable. “It’s not that I </span>
  <em>
    <span>care</span>
  </em>
  <span> who you’re sleeping with, because like you say all the time you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>grown, </span>
  </em>
  <span>right? But you don’t get the right to lie to me of all people, Connie, not </span>
  <em>
    <span>me.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t remember saying I was done speaking.” you cut him off immediately. Now your hand was pointed at him as you continued to take small steps towards him, your index finger almost poking his chest. “Not only did you lie to me like I was your fucking mother or something, but then you kissed me, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> kissed </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Not the other way around. Now you have the nerve to leave me hanging as if </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> did something wrong, and here I am begging for you to at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>speak</span>
  </em>
  <span> to me. Yet you have the nerve to yell at me like </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the one that kissed you and left you hanging-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to!” He bursted, cutting you off. “I wanted to talk to you, you have no idea how much I wanted to talk to you but it’s been hard. Where the hell would I even start? How was I supposed to talk to you without sounding like a complete asshole after that night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There was nothing that you could’ve said to me that would’ve made me hate you, Connie. I just wanted to hear from you.” As quickly as the sudden burst of energy found its way to you, it left and you were mentally exhausted by the conversation. You felt defeated, it felt like you were talking to a wall. No matter how many times you explained it to him or how you told him, nothing that you said fully registered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t ready to talk yet. I didn’t know what I was doing, I still don’t know what I’m doing. I was just afraid of saying the wrong thing and losing you for good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In what world would you have lost me, Connie? Do you not get it? Do you not understand I wouldn’t have left your side unless you wanted me to? Have the last 15 years not shown you anything at all?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You weren’t sure what it was you said that infuriated him so much- nor why, but as the words left your mouth he almost immediately pushed you against the wall. Both of his hands reached up and grabbed the sides of your face, and you felt him shaking so vigorously that your head started to shake as he looked into your eyes. You had never seen his eyes look so lost before, the sight filled you with the worst sense of dread as he continued to yell in your face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already have!” You froze and you lost all sensation in your legs, unsure if you were even standing on your own anymore. “I lost you years ago because I was fucking stupid, and I couldn’t find the right words to say. Now I’m about to lose you again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not true I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know it is.” He let go of your face and instinctively you reached up to hold his face in return. You didn’t know what to say to make things right anymore, you didn’t know what to say to console him. Water pooled in the corners of his eyes and you watched silently as he didn’t even attempt to stop the tears from falling down his face. No matter how much you thought about it you couldn't wrap your head around how things managed to get so </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and you certainly weren’t expecting for </span>
  <em>
    <span>this </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be the outcome of the confrontation. You sat in silence for a moment, allowing him to cry as you thought of a way to fix it but you knew there was nothing you could say. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. 8 nsfw</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The two of you were toxic for each other. That was no longer up for debate and you knew it. You relied too much on him to the point where you were losing sight of who you were and what you stood for- all of it in an attempt to hold onto the image of the boy that you used to know. He was horrible with projecting. You enabled him so much to the point where he no longer saw you as your own sentient being- but as an object to project onto. The two of you had become monsters that you couldn’t recognize anymore. A part of you wondered if it was even worth saving anymore. As far as you were concerned Connie still wasn’t sure about how he felt about you, the recent contact with Sasha certainly didn’t ease your mind, and you had no guarantee that he would shut you out again. Who was to say that even if you did save things in that moment, that it wouldn’t all just be for nothing in the end anyways? There was no guarantee. But then again, nothing’s ever guaranteed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unsure of what to do to console the boy in front of you, you pressed your lips against his only for a moment. A part of you hoped that the peck would be reassurance that on your terms things between the two of you would be okay. The gesture seemed to work, a sheepish grin making its way on his face as he rolled his eyes in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look who’s kissing who.” He joked. You shrugged your shoulders in a playful manner before gently flicking his forehead for the remark. He reached out for your hands as you flicked his forehead, grabbing it immediately after the impact and lightly biting the finger that you used against him. The action caused you to burst into laughter while you closed your eyes, feigning disgust and leaving you completely unguarded. Taking advantage of your lack of vision the silver haired boy pressed his lips against yours in return, completely catching you off guard. You made an attempt to push him back to assess the situation but it was to no avail as your hands were captured by his, held in place against his chest.You initially submitted to him in hopes that if you allowed him to get it out of his system things would go back to normal and you could carry on with your day. What you didn’t anticipate was falling into the trap that he had set up for you, finding yourself completely wrapped around his finger like you always were. Everything felt like a blur, like you weren’t in control of your actions or your judgement anymore. Everything that happened only moments before was a distant memory once again. All of the yelling, the anger, the hurt, all of it was beyond you and the only thing you knew was him and the moment you were sharing. You didn’t even bother rationalizing with yourself anymore, all the last week had shown you was that no matter what he did or how bad you thought things would get, you would always fall back into his grip at the drop of a hat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As your lips relaxed against his moving at an achingly slow pace, his hold on your wrists loosened giving you an opportunity to wrap your arms around the back of his neck. The wetness of his tongue dragged against your bottom lip, begging for entry and you instantly allowed him the access that he desired. You were absolutely lost in the warm smell of cinnamon and cannabis that wafted off of him from the close proximity. His tongue moved gently against yours, every movement with more care than the last as if he was afraid to hurt you. As the seconds went by you could feel yourself sinking deeper and deeper into his trap, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you were a goner</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just as you felt a soft moan bubble at the back of your throat he pulled away, the warmth of his lips replaced by the cool air of the room around you. Before you could protest, the warm sensation was peppered across your jaw, each peck lingering like he was trying to communicate with you through touch. The trail of kisses travelled down your jaw, stopping at the crook of your neck- the same spot that he loved to rest his lips on. As you felt his teeth teasingly graze the smooth skin on your neck you felt his hands brush against your waist, just for a moment before moving slowly down your thighs and hoisting you up from the area. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his  waist as he gripped onto your ass for support, holding you up in the air all whilst working on the spot on your neck. Too dazed to pay attention to the fact that you were being carried to his bed, you gently rolled your hips against his and pushed his head deeper into the sweet spot on your neck. You had no sense of self control when it came to him, and you weren’t going to start pretending that you did now. The area that he nipped and sucked at was almost painfully sore, but the sensation was like pure ecstasy to you. You were in love with everything he did.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he carefully placed you onto the bed he tore his lips away from your sweet spot before taking a moment to look at you in all your glory. Your lips were flushed a warm pink and your eyes glossed over in lust as you looked up at the boy hovering above you. You couldn’t help but blush at the sight of his chain dangling above you, and he seemed to notice. A soft chuckle escaped his lips and you watched as he placed soft kisses at your clothed chest. Tugging at the hem of your shirt he looked up at you with a warm smile on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is this okay?” You simply nodded in response, unable to form words from the trance that you were in. Upon receiving your nonverbal approval he began pulling your shirt above your head, revealing your braless chest. He sucked his teeth at the sight before him, tossing your shirt to the side and gently pinching your right nipple as he peppered kisses across your chest. The sensation caused you to arch your back slightly, gasping at the slight touch. With his ego inflated he took your abandoned bud in his mouth, lightly nipping and twirling his tongue around the sensitive area. His lips moved from your bud down the valley of your chest, slowly making their way to the hem of the sweatshorts you were wearing. Before he could make any attempt to remove them you let out a loud whine, placing your hands on either side of his face in an attempt to bring his face up to yours. Eyebrows furrowed, he complied, crawling back up to your direct line of sight. As he did so your hands moved down to the hem of his shirt, attempting to pull it over his head so he was equally as exposed as you were. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You were shy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Upon the realization he let out another chuckle as he sat upright and pulled the fabric over his head, revealing his exposed and </span>
  <em>
    <span>toned</span>
  </em>
  <span> chest. Before making his way back downwards he placed a chaste kiss against your lips, smiling into the action as he did so.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You watched in awe, resting your hands at the top of his head as he pulled down your shorts in one swift movement and began making a line of kisses down your stomach. As he got closer to your navel he couldn’t help but take a glimpse of you from below, the way your eyes were barely able to stay open, the way your bottom lip stayed trapped between your teeth, all of it was perfect in the moment. The temptation to tease you was almost too enticing for him as he kissed you heat through your underwear. Part of him desperately wanted to hear you beg for him to pleasure you the way he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> only he could, but the sight of you alone was tormenting him in his own way. He was just as whipped as you were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck” You drawled out as he teasingly licked your bud through your underwear. The friction was </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>close to being what you needed- if it wasn’t for the remaining layer in between your skin. As he caressed your thighs, kneading them gently, he used his teeth to move your underwear to the side slightly, exposing all of the right places that he needed access to. Without wasting any more time, </span>
  <em>
    <span>which he decided he had already done more than enough of, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he dragged his tongue slowly from your entrance up to your ball of nerves. At the sensation of him softly sucking at the swollen bud you felt your throat choke in a moan and your back arch further. The feeling embedded itself in your bones, causing your body to shake as he continued to apply pressure, speeding up the pace of the circular motions his tongue moved in with each second. You wished you were able to yell out cries of approval, but you were so overcome by pleasure that every sound you wanted to make was caught in your throat, muffling the sounds before they had a chance to expose yourself. Every movement  he made was perfect, just as you expected it to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Connie stop, I'm close.” You warned, attempting to edge yourself before you prematurely orgasm, but your warning was met with deaf ears. He continued moving at his quickened pace, removing his right hand from your thigh to expose your bud more, allowing him more direct access against your nerves. Your body jerked violently, your eyes squeezing shut as you cursed out quietly and showered him with praise as you reached your climax. That was the first time you had </span>
  <em>
    <span>truthfully</span>
  </em>
  <span> orgasmed during sex- let alone foreplay. As his movements came to a stop your eyes fluttered open and you watched him closely, wondering why you had denied yourself this privilege for so long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You continued to watch him with lust filled eyes as he approached your lips, running his tongue across your bottom lip. Granting him access immediately, you were overcome by the taste that lingered on his tongue. The thought of tasting yourself sent you into a frenzy and you couldn’t help but let out a long drawn out moan into the kiss. As you reached down to palm him through his pants he promptly grabbed your wrist, pinning it down above your head before pulling away from the kiss and moving so his lips were pressed flush against the side of your face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is all about you, don’t worry about me.” Just the simple thought of not being obligated to reciprocate made you want to do so even more, but you knew that once Connie had decided on something that was it so there was no point in fighting him. Simply humming in response you watched him pull away completely from you as he got off the bed momentarily to remove his pants. You couldn’t help but turn your head to the side as he removed his briefs. It was one thing for you to watch when it was exclusively a sex partner- or a stranger even, but this was someone that you </span>
  <em>
    <span>grew up</span>
  </em>
  <span> with. Your cheeks flushed red from embarrassment and they burned more as you heard his laughter fill the room, clearly amused from the mental suffering you were going through. A few moments had passed by and you listened to the sound of rustling and plastic tearing, assuming that he had placed a condom on while you were adamant on not looking at him. A gentle familiar weight sunk the bed on either side of you, and you took that as a sign that the coast was clear. Sneaking a peek through the corner of your eye you saw his face dangerously close to yours. His left hand came up to your cheek, softly resting on it and moving your face so you were looking into his eyes. The intimacy of it all almost made you want to crawl into hiding, even though you were covered by his body you had never felt so open and exposed to someone before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, look at me, it’s okay.” He cooed softly before ghosting his lips in front of yours, only applying pressure as he gingerly pushed himself inside you. You gasped into the kiss, the pressure only slightly unbearable as he moved at a painfully slow pace. Each stroke angled perfectly against your walls, and each thrust consistently slow and sensual. You had always imagined your first time with him being exciting and rough, the same way that he talked about his other ventures being, but never in a million years were you prepared for </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The thought of Connie being so gentle and intimate seemed so far from your line of vision because of how the boy naturally was. He was always loud, flamboyant, and careless. It almost felt like the person you were with in that moment wasn’t him. With your arms wrapped around his torso you felt yourself wishing that the moment wouldn’t end. His lips refused to separate from yours as he moaned into your mouth repetitively, the sound resembling music to your ears. You had never heard something so sensual and lewd come from him and </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span> did you love it. He was everything to you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> was everything to you. The two of you rocked against each other for what seemed to be a lifetime. It was almost as if the two of you were melting into each other with each thrust, but the closeness still didn’t feel </span>
  <em>
    <span>enough</span>
  </em>
  <span> for you. Finally pulling away from your lips he made a line of kisses across your jaw, resting his head on the bed with his lips beside your ear granting you full access to the chorus of moans that escaped his lips, tantalizing you with each sound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slightly increasing the pace of his strokes, he brought his left hand down in between the two of you and began rubbing at your swollen bud in an attempt to provide additional stimulation. You couldn’t emphasize enough how fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>whipped</span>
  </em>
  <span> you were. The overstimulation caused you to cry out in surprise, cheeks flushing red because you were positive Jean would be able to hear everything through the thin walls of the dormitory. You automatically felt your hands tighten their grip around his torso as your stomach contracted and your vision blurred. Unable to form a coherent sentence because of how far gone you were, you cursed out sporadically, a series of “don’t stop” and “so close” word-vomiting off your tongue. At the sound of your words he lifted himself slightly so he was propped up on his knees, stable enough to continue to provide you clitoral stimulation as he brought his right hand up to your throat, only squeezing with a minimal amount of force. The feeling sent you over the edge and you convulsed against his rocking body, orgasming for the second time in a row. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head before fluttering shut, too far gone to keep them open and focused on him as he climaxed right after you. As he rode out his orgasm, his grip loosened on your throat and his thrusts came to a slow stop. He planted one final kiss against your lips before completely pulling out and getting up to dispose of the used rubber. Laying in his bed, you curled up beneath his sheets, not bothering to get up at all due to how worn out you were. You didn’t notice him re-enter the room until he was laid beside you. His arm wrapped around your body as he looked up at the ceiling, wondering how the two of you managed to go from yelling in each other's faces to...</span>
  <em>
    <span>this. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“If that was your way of apologizing for being a dick we should definitely fight more.” you joked as you laid beside the boy. His fingers made residency in your hair as he let out a weak laugh, still seemingly deep in thought. You had tried to take a casual approach to the situation, already knowing that where you stood with him most likely wasn’t going to change any time soon despite what happened, but you couldn’t help but feel like your nonchalance disturbed him a bit. There were many moments that evening that you wanted to ask him head on what was going through his mind, and you knew that he wouldn’t have minded you asking- because the lack of communication was what led the two of you there in the first place. You still couldn’t bring yourself to let the question roll off your tongue out of fear of rejection. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not asking for space...but I just need time to figure out-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, Connie.” You interrupted him. You could tell he felt horrible for having to bring it up by the conflicted look on his face. You knew that he felt horrid for sleeping with you and then immediately having to set boundaries, but you understood where he was coming from- and to be honest you needed the same. A lot had changed between the two of you recently, and neither of you had any time to properly come to terms with those changes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I care about you, even though I’ve been showing it in the worst way possible.” He let out a brief sigh as he pecked your forehead, thinking about the right words to say. “And I don’t expect you to wait for me to figure my shit out, you deserve more than that...but if you’re still willing to once I’ve gotten my shit together I want to try this.” He said, pointing between the two of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever the hell </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> is.” You laughed while giving him a reassuring nod. You were just glad that he was finally opening up to you, even if it wasn’t exactly what you wanted to hear at the moment. He nodded in agreement, forcing himself to smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were so many things that he wanted to tell you that day. So many things that he wished he was ready to be open about, so many things that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>should’ve</span>
  </em>
  <span> said. Like the way he had never been kissed the way you kissed him, or the way he loved the way you looked at him when you thought he wasn’t looking. He could go on for hours about the way he loved every little thing about you- and that he always did, but he was a coward. He hated the way he allowed his fear of losing you to stop himself from opening up to you, and he hated the way it hurt you more than he ever anticipated. A small part of him always wished that he had never met you as a kid, that the two of you had never become inseparable best friends. At least that way he wouldn’t be so scared of losing you completely. Just the thought alone kept him in a constant chokehold and he didn’t know what to do about it, which is why he figured distancing himself was the right move. In his mind if he had distanced himself then maybe then he wouldn’t be scared to lose you- or that the distance would drive him crazy, crazy enough to tell you how he really felt. But he never expected this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…” you started uncomfortably, looking down at your hand that rested on his bare chest. “Should I leave? Or do you want me to stay?” At the offer of your absence he squeezed your body closer to his, groaning at the thought of you having to leave after the moment the two of you shared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay here, don’t go anywhere.” He spoke so softly that you almost missed it. You could’ve sworn you heard a slight tremor in his voice and you looked up at him, his eyes immediately meeting yours. He was so beautiful up close it took your breath away every time, even when he was visibly upset you were still completely lost in him. Satisfied by his response you brought your hand up from his chest and gently caressed his cheek as he looked down at you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so pretty.” He said, his voice now just above a whisper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was just about to say the same about you, doofus.” Before he could say anything back you brought your lips to his, carefully moving them together so he knew that you meant what you said. It was almost like kissing was the easiest way for the two of you to communicate with each other. There was no hiding the way the two of you felt about each other when  your lips met and moved with perfect synchronicity. You swore you could feel his longing in each kiss, the way he was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>gentle</span>
  </em>
  <span> with you each time, like you were going to fall apart right then and there. Reluctantly he pulled away after a moment before placing one final kiss on your forehead and turning to the side to hold you flush against his chest. As he engulfed you, your nose softly rubbed against his chest and you could take in the warm, familiar smell of cinnamon that never failed to make you weak. You wished that every night could be like this. That you would be around him, held by him so much that you too would end up smelling like that sweet cinnamon scent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You were walking out of class, moving with haste in hopes of bumping into Connie if you got to the building he was in at the time. Too excited to focus on your surroundings, you felt your body ram into a sturdy figure in front of you and you mentally reprimanded yourself for being so careless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry!” You began, taking a moment to look up at who it was you ran into. As the figure turned around you felt your eyes widen in deep embarrassment and heat instantly rushed to your face. If having the ability to teleport was something that you thought you needed before, that was nothing compared to </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You mentally braced yourself for the awkward interaction you had just put yourself in, expecting him to be rude and standoffish- or even worse, act like he didn’t know you entirely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y/n, right? Funny seeing you around here.” The last time you had seen Eren was that night at the party, and you prayed that you would never see him again after the way you embarrassed yourself in front of him. All of the memories from that interaction came flooding back and you squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, rubbing them in hopes that when you opened them he would no longer be standing in front of you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay? Did I hurt you or something?” He asked as he reached his hands out to grab your wrists, attempting to check on your eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I’m fine! Just dry eyes.” You lied. If you weren’t embarrassing yourself before you most certainly were now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you up to? If you’re not busy do you wanna get food or something? I owe you one for leaving you stranded like that...last time.” You could see the immediate regret written on his face as he mentioned that night, realizing that he was embarrassing you by bringing it up. With a simple sure you walked side by side with him, completely forgetting that you planned on visiting Connie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of you walked for about 15 minutes around campus, looking for a suitable place to get lunch. As you walked, you both caught up with each other. You learned that he was an anthropology major, so a lot of his free time was taken up with studies which is why you didn’t see him around campus much aside from the two times that you did. You told him all about your major, and how you’ve been since the last time you saw him, completely leaving out the drama between you and the silver haired boy. The interaction wasn’t nearly as embarrassing as you had expected it to be which you were extremely thankful for. If anything, you enjoyed talking to Eren quite a bit. Once the two of you finally settled on what to eat you opted to eat outside, taking advantage of the sunlight that barely seemed to make itself present as of late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to be annoying and kill the mood by bringing up that night, but I am sorry for leaving like that.” He started as you took a bite of one of the fries you had gotten with your meal. “I just didn’t think it would help at all if I was in the room...it wasn’t my business y’know”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I get it, don’t worry about it.” You could tell that he had been thinking a lot about that night from the way he was overly nice to you, and the way he looked at you as if he was guilty. It was endearing. In the sunlight you were able to get a good, full look at his face, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>god</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful</span>
  </em>
  <span>. From your memory you remembered he was good looking, but you also knew that you were incredibly drunk that night and the lighting in that house was </span>
  <em>
    <span>far</span>
  </em>
  <span> from reliable, but you didn’t remember him being </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> pretty. His brown hair almost glistened as the sunlight hit him directly, and his face was perfectly proportional. You mentally gave yourself props for being able to pull him that night, your ego getting a much well deserved boost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So...how are things with him? Are you too seeing each other...or?” You could tell that he wanted to ask directly if you were seeing anyone but he was too embarrassed to be so direct about it which made you more attracted to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, no?” His face looked uneasy at your answer and you quickly made an attempt to cover your tracks. “He needs time, and so do I...so we aren’t seeing each other or anything. I’m not seeing anyone if that’s what you’re asking.” You watched a blush creep onto his face as he tried to play it off cooly, nodding at your response and smiling into his food. A brief moment passed as the two of you focused on your food in a comfortable silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The thought of seeing other people didn’t even cross your mind until then and you silently cursed yourself for it. If Connie was allowed to sleep around with Sasha and countless other people while he figured out how he felt, then why couldn’t you? It wasn’t like Eren was asking you then and there to be his girlfriend, nor did you anticipate him ever doing so in the near future. If you were completely honest with yourself you deserved, no- </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to sleep with other people. If you were going to do it at all you figured Eren was more than adequate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing tomorrow night?” He broke you away from your thoughts and you looked over at him, his warm green eyes searching yours for any hint of hesitation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, I don’t have any plans, what were you thinking?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a drive in theatre that’s really cool nearby, if you’re interested at all.” Your eyes lit up at his offer. You had never been to a drive-in before, but you always wished that you had the opportunity. Not taking time to think it over because you were already convinced you nodded your head, grinning from ear to ear at the proposition. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>love</span>
  </em>
  <span> to.” His eyes curved into a warm smile as he laughed at your response, already excited at the thought of the time you’d spend together tomorrow night. As the two of you finished eating, both of you stood from your spots and he explained that he had a class to get to in a few minutes to your dismay. You were caught by surprise when he pulled you into a warm hug for a moment, and it was only then that you realized you had forgotten what it was like to be held by someone other than Connie. Before he ran off you reminded him that you didn’t have his number, or any way to contact him to which he gave you his phone, allowing you to enter your number into his phone for him. </span>
</p><p><span>As you walked back to your dorm you couldn’t help but feel your stomach flip from anticipation. </span><em><span>When would he text? What would he say?</span></em> <em><span>Was it a date? </span></em><span>The thoughts came one after the other, and you found yourself lost in them as you contemplated what to wear and how you should look. It was almost like he had reappeared in your life at the perfect time. Eren was the perfect temporary distraction from the mess that was your love life.</span></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. 10 [NSFW]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You had barely gotten any sleep that night. You waited for Eren to text you the whole day, desperately trying to refocus your anxious energy anywhere else that you could. You wondered if he would even text you that night at all, or if he always intended on waiting until the next day to hit you up. It wasn’t until you were finally dozing off around 2AM that the phone chime rang through your ears, immediately erasing any exhaustion that you felt beforehand. His text was a jumbled mess which you found endearing, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was just as nervous as you were for the night ahead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eren: “Hey its me Eren, sorry for texting so late I wasn’t sure if you’d be busy so I didn’t want to bother. Not sure if you’re even up, but if you are I just wanted to say i'm really looking forward to tomorrow, have a good night. I'll text you sometime tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You couldn’t help but crack a smile reading his jumbled words and you mentally replied, not wanting to embarrass him by letting him know that you were in fact awake and watching him </span>
  <em>
    <span>cutely</span>
  </em>
  <span> embarrass himself. The thought of him being just as nervous as you were lifted a huge weight off of your shoulders. It was nice having feelings openly reciprocated for once.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day you were swamped with requests from your roommate Ymir, who needed help preparing her date with Historia. The brunette managed to keep you busy for a large portion of your day to which you thanked her deeply for, because you knew that if you had any spare time you would have just dug yourself a hole creating scenarios in your mind about what you anticipated happening that night. Despite being preoccupied, you made sure to text him back that morning, reassuring him that you were excited to see him. You were completely thrown off by how fast replied to you, as if he had been waiting by his phone solely for your text. The idea sent you in a frenzy. You weren’t used to people being this available to you. You tried your hardest to not compare the two, but you couldn’t help but think about how </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>it was to get a proper hold of Connie if you weren’t badgering him. By the time you were able to get yourself ready for your presumed date it was already 8pm. You had just over an hour to get ready before Eren picked you up, since the movie was at 10 and the two of you agreed that it would be best to leave early so you could have time to get snacks on the way. You decided to allow your hair to fall naturally so it framed your face without any manipulation, deciding that the low effort look was appropriate for the occasion. Your makeup was minimal aside from the dark brown/black winged eyeshadow you had given yourself to contrast your minimal look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The more you thought about it </span>
  <em>
    <span>which you couldn’t seem to stop doing</span>
  </em>
  <span>, the more you found yourself getting excited to see him. It had to have been at least four months since the last time you went on a proper date. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Four months</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The thought made you roll your eyes to yourself, wondering how you managed to rob yourself of such an experience. As you got dressed, throwing on a casual outfit you felt comfortable in, your phone rang from across your room where it rested on your bed. The sudden call threw you off because you weren’t expecting anyone to call you. You had made it a point to let people know that you weren’t one for calls because the interaction was always too awkward for you to handle so that people knew to only text you unless they </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> needed something. Once you walked over to the spot where your phone was you checked to see who it was that was disturbing your peace. It was Connie. The thought of Connie calling you was more confusing than anything else because aside from him knowing that you hated being called, he was</span>
  <em>
    <span> never</span>
  </em>
  <span> easy to reach. Connie was probably the last person you would ever expect to be on the other side of the line. You refused to answer, knowing that if he wanted to see you that night you would probably end up cancelling on Eren to see the silver haired boy. The last thing you wanted to do was stand him up because you truly did think he was sweet, and you knew that it would have eaten away at your conscience. Ignoring him was just as hard though, if not harder. This was the first time that he had shown any sort of reciprocation for your feelings, and now you were essentially playing hard to get- at least by your standards. Part of you worried that you would end up pushing him away if you weren’t as available to him as you normally were. You had no idea how he would react. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>About 15 minutes past nine you heard a faint knock at the door to your dorm. You felt your heart leap in your chest as you left your room, making sure to grab everything you anticipated needing. As you opened the door you were welcomed by the definition of eye candy. Eren stood tall before you, his hair in the bun that you thought no one else could pull off as well as he did. As you took in his appearance you couldn’t help but notice him do the same, the two of you were entranced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look great.” Was all he said. The simple compliment made you blush furiously and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Connie barely complimented you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You couldn’t stop yourself from taking mental notes and comparing the two to each other any chance you got- and Eren was winning by a landslide. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So do you, obviously.” You replied as you walked out of your dorm, locking the door behind yourself. He took your hand in his carefully as the two of you walked out to the parking lot near your residence hall. His hand was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Normally you would feel awkward holding the hand of someone you weren’t entirely close with, but for some reason the gesture felt so right, like you had always done this. As the two of you walked out towards his car you were slightly surprised to find out that he drove an suv. You got into the black car after him and made yourself comfortable as he started the engine and began driving off of the campus road. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What snacks do you want? I’m fine with anything so i’ll get whatever you want.” You were caught off guard. You hadn’t thought about what to eat, and you knew you had to come up with something quickly since he was driving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe just some candy, like chocolate or sour patch kids...I don't know I didn’t think about it honestly.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good to me.” Seeing him in person made it so much more obvious how nervous he was, which was an interesting contrast to the night you met him. He was basically silent the entire car ride, trying to think of something, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> to say to you. Everything he could think of was either stupid or a dead end question, he was completely at a loss. The silence was comfortable for you. You didn’t mind that he didn’t know what to say, in fact you appreciated that he didn’t try to make small talk because you hated it. To you, small talk was a complete waste of time and a fake courtesy that you couldn’t be bothered having, so you were thankful that he didn’t force you to go through your idea of torture. His right hand rested on your thigh, almost hovering over it like he was afraid to push any boundary without your permission. The amount of gestures he made towards you drove you crazy and you found yourself mentally gushing over how sweet he was. You grabbed a hold of his arm in an attempt to show him that you were okay with his movement, and you instantly felt him relax into your touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car ride was brief, you only stopped once at a store to grab the necessary snacks that he insisted on paying for. Once you arrived at the drive-in theatre you felt the excitement that you tried to conceal bubbling up as you stared at the large empty field and equally as large projector. There was no one else there that night so you had complete privacy. Parked in the center or the empty lot he got out of the driver's seat and began putting the back seats down so there was a large amount of space for the two of you to sprawl out. It wasn’t until then that you noticed he had packed a multitude of plush comforters that he began laying out across the empty space, along with a few pillows. The sight made you squirm in delight, he was absolutely perfect. Too excited to wait for him to tell you when you could hop in the back, you hastily got out of your seat and walked over to where he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it too much? I didn’t want to be over the top but I wanted to make sure you were comfortable-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s perfect Eren.” You could see the pink rise in his cheeks as he held his hand out for you, signaling for you to make your way in. Without hesitation you climbed in, making yourself comfortable as you leaned against a pillow and patted the spot beside you. You watched patiently as he made his way in the car, wrapping his arm around you and placing the small bag of snacks in front of you. Part of you really wanted to pay attention to the movie that was beginning in front of you since that </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> the reason why you were there to begin with, but you couldn’t help but find yourself focusing on the boy next to you. His eyelashes were long and they curled perfectly. You took note of every little detail as you took in the way he looked up close, your eyes unintentionally focusing on his lips. You wanted to kiss him so badly. You wished that he would take his attention off the movie and kiss you so that you didn’t have to make the first move. You wished that he wasn’t too nervous to make the move that you knew the both of you wanted him to make. You allowed about half an hour to pass as the two of you watched the movie, joking with each other about some of the scenes and mindlessly eating the snacks that were available. Without looking, you reached out for another piece of the chocolate that you’d been snacking on, and your hand brushed against his causing you to tear your eyes away from the movie. You felt him shift beside you, signalling that he also didn’t realize that you intended on grabbing the last piece of sweets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can have it.” He smiled softly while pulling his hand back. Normally you would have insisted that he be the one to take it, but you were tired of watching the movie by this point and saw it as the perfect opportunity to make a move on him. You grabbed the small cube and placed a small portion of it in between your teeth, holding it in place as you shifted beside him. Your legs wrapped on either side of him and you watched as his eyes furrowed in confusion, not fully grasping what was going on. As you straddled him you brought your face close to his, allowing him to take a bite of the chocolate, which he did after a moment of hesitation. He seemed to finally understand what your intentions were as you felt his hands grip each of your thighs while the two of you swallowed the fractions of chocolate. The moment the sweetness had gone down your throat you crashed your lips against his, tasting the lingering aftertaste of chocolate on his lips. Your lips moved slightly out of synch as your teeth hit against his occasionally, but you were too far gone to even care about the sloppiness of it all- if anything, you liked it. Taking the initiative to establish yourself as the one in charge you licked at his bottom lip, begging for entry to which he immediately complied. You mentally praised yourself for the chocolate move, fully basking in the sweet taste that lingered on his tongue. You could feel his bulge stiffen beneath you, giving you a hint of the friction that you decided you needed. Your hips rocked softly against his into the kiss, eliciting a muffled moan from his lips that sounded almost just as sweet as the candy you tasted. His right hand made its way to the back of your head, roughly gripping your hair and he yanked your head back, forcing your lips to separate from his. The abrupt move caused you to let out a soft yelp in pleasure as you increased the pace and pressure of each of your hip movements, slightly moving your hips in a circular motion. You felt your body slightly tilt backwards as he lifted himself beneath you, completely flipping you backwards to where he was on top. He rocked his hips forward in a rougher motion as you wrapped your legs around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t even wait a fucking hour, you’re ridiculous.” He seethed, his lips pressed against your neck. The vibration from his voice against your veins stimulated you even more. He began teething at your neck, only briefly to prevent from leaving any marks on your skin which you mentally thanked him for. You grunted as his left hand travelled down your body quickly, applying pressure to your clothed clit. You continued rocking your hips repeatedly against the pressure as the sensation coursed through your entire body, almost becoming too overwhelming to handle. Becoming impatient, he removed his hand from the area and began pulling off your clothes, one after the other. Once he had managed to pull off your underwear, he tossed all of your pieces of clothing onto the passenger seat and took a moment to take in the sight of you exposed before him. You lifted yourself under him, pressing your lips against his after deciding that he was taking longer than you’d like to get things going. You didn’t even know why you were in such a rush with him, all you knew was that you wanted him immediately. In between kisses you felt him cup your ass as you rested on his legs, slightly pushing you upwards as he leaned back into the pillows, allowing you to get on top of him again. You fully pulled away from his lips at the action, looking down at him not knowing what to expect. A mild sting ran through your ass as you heard a smack against the exposed skin, and he continued pushing your body forwards. You moved in the direction that he pushed you, only slightly so you were sitting atop of his chest. He shot you an intense look of impatience as he scooted lower beneath you, looking up at your towering figure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you gonna ride my face or what?” You blushed at his request, mentally slapping yourself for not picking up sooner on what he was trying to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shutup.” You crawled forward so you were hovering just above his lips, and he forced your body down against him, not wanting to waste more time than the two of you had already done. “Holy fuck Eren please.” You yelled, momentarily forgetting that you were still technically in public. His tongue roughly applied pressure against your clit as he made a soft sucking motion. You didn’t know what to do with yourself as you rocked against his mouth quickly, almost too overcome from the sensation to multitask. You looked directly forward in the direction of the movie, trying to refocus your energy onto the projector in an attempt to stop yourself from orgasming prematurely. The tactic almost worked until you felt two of his fingers enter you slowly, one after the other while he curled them against your walls, moving them in a forward “come here” motion. Your body immediately convulsed against his face and you looked down at him, pressing yourself against him harder as you felt yourself orgasm. The audio of the movie muffled in the car as you let out a chorus of moans while you continued to ride him. The moment that the sensitivity against your clit became almost painful you weakly lifted yourself, letting out a deep sigh in content as you crawled back down his body. Once you were eye level you planted a soft kiss on his lips as you pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it towards the front of the car without looking to see where it landed. You felt another hard slap against your ass as you ran your hand down his bare chest slowly, only stopping once you reached the hem of his pants. You could hear him suck his teeth softly as you continued crawling lower so you were faced directly in front of his bulge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t bother wasting any time teasing him before you made work pulling down his pants, attempting to grab his briefs along with them in one rushed motion. Fumbling a bit, you struggled to get them both completely off to which he lifted his legs slightly, helping you remove them quicker. As you tossed them to the side the both of you shared a small laugh over the clumsy motion. You began placing kisses on his length, slowly moving upwards towards his tip as you looked up at him. He was a writhing mess under you. You immediately mouthed the tip of his cock, swirling your tongue against the sensitive spot which elicited a loud erotic moan from his lips. His hands were tangled in your hair once again, pulling and squeezing as he began bucking his hips forward into your mouth. You used your left hand to aid you as you gripped his length, pumping the remaining area as he continued to face fuck you. You loved the way he completely came undone beneath you, like you were the only person who had ever been able to send him over the edge like this. It made you feel in control, like you were the one in power. You allowed a few more thrusts before fully lifting your head, and he made no oppositions to your movement. You continued pumping at a fast pace as you climbed back on top of him, positioning yourself directly over his length. Letting go of him, you placed both of your hands on either side of his shoulders, steading yourself as he roughly pushed his cock into you. The harsh movement made you cry out both in pain and pleasure as his tip slightly hit your cervix. You rolled your hips in a circular motion, matching his thrusts with your own. The pressure overwhelmed you as he increased his speed only slightly. His right hand tightly squeezed around your neck, causing the blood to rush to your face and your eyes to roll back in ecstasy. You could feel beads of sweat trickle down your forehead as you cursed out loud, a string of praise towards his movements leaving your mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So fucking good please keep going.” You managed to choke out. Against your request, he stopped altogether and you made an attempt to rock yourself against him, moving your body up and down to make up for his absence. You felt him remove his hand from around your neck as he forcefully lifted you off of him, tossing you onto your back on the space before him. Before you could begin working on yourself, desperate for some sort of release he wrapped his hand around your neck once more, yanking you off of your back so you were now seated in front of him. His lips crashed against yours roughly for only a brief moment, the fog over your mind thickening at the touch of his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turn around so I can fuck you.” You whined in response, shifting yourself on your knees so your ass was directly in front of him. Noticing the slight lack of space you crawled towards the trunk door, your cheek only centimeters away from the glass as he positioned himself behind you. Your head smacked roughly against the door and you raised your hand, placing it flush against the glass to lower the direct impact against your head as he rammed into you. His hands came down on your ass repeatedly, slapping the flushed skin with every other stroke. You cried out, the sweat causing your hair to stick to your forehead as your breath fogged up the window before you. You could feel him slightly bend over your body, quickening his pace as he grabbed a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back so it was close to his. The roughness sent you over the edge, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you fucking loved it.</span>
  </em>
  <span> You pushed your arm against the glass so you were pressed closer against his body as he let go of your hair and moved his grip back around your throat. His teeth nipped your ear as he continued to drill into you, muttering how much he loved the way you felt around him. The sound of his voice was pure </span>
  <em>
    <span>sex</span>
  </em>
  <span>. As you opened your mouth in an attempt to get more airflow despite being choked you felt his lips sloppily press against yours. You moaned into the kiss, bringing your free hand to wrap around  the two of you so it rested at the back of his neck, allowing you more access to his lips. As you deepened the kiss you could feel your walls contract around him, resulting in him moaning lowly into your mouth as he tightened the grip around your throat. You couldn’t hear anymore as you orgasmed harshly, your knees slightly giving out from the overwhelming sensation. He immediately released the grip around your neck before pushing your head down flush against the floor. You could feel him  pull his cock out of you, and he began stroking it vigorously, a combination of teeth sucking and loud drawn out moans escaping his mouth as hot liquid fell onto your lower back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the two of you came to, the realization that you didn’t bring any napkins dawned on you, and you turned your head towards him, barely being able to see his shape behind you. Before you could panic over the situation you could hear a soft click in the front compartment in between the two seats. Eren always kept a packet of wipes in his car in case he ate in it, or ended up spilling a drink...or for moments like these. You let out a long sigh in relief as you felt him wipe your lower back with the gentlest touch. Once he made sure you were properly cleaned off he made sure your forehead was okay, remembering how it slapped against the glass earlier on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine I promise. What I do need though are my clothes.” You joked as he continued to inspect your forehead. With an eye roll in response, he leaned over and grabbed both sets of clothing, tossing you yours as he twisted in his spot trying to get his briefs on. You both dressed in a comfortable silence, only realizing that the movie was still playing after you had resettled down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should definitely do this again soon.” You heard him say. Smiling to yourself you nodded in response with a soft hum. He repositioned himself so he was leaning against a pillow before gently pulling you back against him. You made yourself comfortable against him and the two of you returned your attention back to the remainder of the movie, taking advantage of the remaining time you had together. You were left speechless from the moment you had, you knew that you were going to have a good time with him, that wasn’t a question. You even knew that you would have a good time sleeping with him, none of that was surprising. What you </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> anticipate however, was how much </span>
  <em>
    <span>better</span>
  </em>
  <span> he was than Connie in every sense of the word. Now you had a problem.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You had spent the last two weeks completely infatuated with Eren, and the infatuation was reciprocated. The two of you would take turns spending the night at each other’s dorms every other night, watching movies, eating, talking, </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span>. For a moment you had almost considered the idea of dating him legitimately- or at least taking him more seriously than you were then. In the midst of all of this you had felt your contact with Connie becoming a secondary thought. You hadn’t seen him in days, and you barely spoke to him throughout the day. It was a wednesday night and you decided to invite Jean over to fill him in on everything that was going on with Eren and Connie. When he arrived you began to tell Jean about it all, from the night you slept with the hazel eyed boy- </span>
  <em>
    <span>to which Jean assured you he had heard plenty of, </span>
  </em>
  <span>to the day you bumped into Eren, and everything after it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been sleeping...with both of my close friends?” He looked at you, eyes wide once the realization hit him. The way he phrased it made the situation sound a lot worse than it really was, causing you to groan in response. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least they don’t really know each other!” You protested, to which Jean rolled his eyes. “Plus, if Connie can sleep with the entire campus, including his ex, then I should be able to have fun too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not leading him on though, right?” You paused for a moment. The thought had never occurred to you. As far as you knew it was a mutual benefit, both of you were able to enjoy each other’s company and the sexual chemistry between the both of you was perfect. He never hinted towards wanting more than what you had now, and neither did you. Noticing your hesitation Jean sighed, sprawling out on your couch as he looked continued to roll his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eren is a simple guy, which I’m sure you know by now.” He began. “If this goes on for long enough things are gonna start getting complicated, and Eren doesn’t do complications.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It won't though, we’re clearly just having fun there’s nothing really complicated about that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He sat up in his seat, looking over at you with a hint of frustration in your eyes. There was clearly a point that he was trying to get at that you just weren’t picking up on. “So what happens when Connie finds out? Or when he decides he’s ready to take things seriously with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You didn’t know how you managed to go two weeks without considering any of that to be a possibility. You were being just as careless with Eren as Connie was with you. The sudden realization made you feel sick to your stomach, now unable to look your friend in the face you stared down at your hands, shrugging weakly in response. You didn’t know what to say. You knew Jean wasn’t mad at you, that he was just looking out for you, but you couldn’t help but feel like you were in trouble for what you’d done. You didn’t know why you thought that just telling Eren about Connie would have been enough to combat the festering situation. You didn’t even know why you didn’t tell Connie about him in the first place, or why you ignored all of his texts and calls when you were with Eren, like you were cheating. Logically, you knew that you didn’t owe Connie any sort of explanation or list of people that you were sleeping with since the two of you weren’t anywhere near dating each other, but you knew that you had to at least warn both of the boys about each other if you wanted to avoid any sort of blow up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right I’m sorry I’ve been careless I guess I just… I don’t know it was such a relief to be with someone and not have to constantly worry about him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand, but that’s basically the same logic that he used to shut you out and you saw where that ended up for you two.” Jean wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into a warm, much needed hug before pulling away and clapping his hands together. The sudden burst of energy took your attention and you looked at him expectantly, watching as he stood up from his seat. “Now it’s well deserved romcom time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were thankful to have a friend like Jean. He was always looking out for you, no matter what you did he would always be there for you without fail. You entertained the idea of considering Jean in a romantic way before in the past, but your relationship was too platonic and too familial to genuinely consider it. He was the big brother that you deserved but never had. He was the only person that you could genuinely be yourself around and not worry about saying the wrong thing, or being perceived the wrong way. Jean saw you for who you really were, he saw you underneath everything else and you couldn’t imagine having anyone else in his place. The two of you watched a series of romance movies that night, deciding to make an allnighter of it since Ymir was at Historia’s place like she typically was, and Eren was busy catching up on all of the missed readings and assignments that he had pushed to the side to spend time with you. The two of you ended up falling asleep in your living room, your head rested on the carpet floor while he took ownership of your couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next day you were with Eren on what he called a “gym date”. He had managed to force you to the gym with him so you could essentially spot him while he worked out and he could have an excuse to touch you under the guise of “working on your form”. As the two of you walked back towards the dormitories from the gym area, your legs slightly sore and worn out from working out, you decided it would be as good of a moment as any other to bring up the Connie situation. Part of you didn’t want to because you were afraid of how he’d react if you brought him up, essentially telling him that you plan on tossing him to the side once Connie became available to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Eren, I hung out with Jean yesterday.” His eyes lit up at the sound of his friend's name, and he smiled brightly in response, invested in what you had to say about the experience. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah how was it? How is he?” His happiness made you feel worse about yourself. A sinking feeling settled in your stomach as you thought about how to find the right words to say to decrease the upcoming blow you were about to dish out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine, it was fine. We talked a lot….about you...and about Connie.” He paused momentarily, mulling over your words before nodding and encouraging you to finish your thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, go on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jean thinks I’m leading you on…”you began. “Maybe I am, I don’t know.” you tried to shift the blame off of your friend after realizing the mistake you made by pinning it on him to begin with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes him think that?” Eren tried to get you to formulate the words yourself. He already had a general idea of what you were getting ready to say, and it wasn’t like any of it bothered him at all, but he knew that it would clear your conscience if you had gotten the words out yourself. Eren was naturally very perceptive, always reading the body language of the people around him and picking up on things before they’re spelled out to him. He already knew that you were just waiting around for Connie, you made it obvious from the moment he asked you out on the first date the two of you went on. None of it bothered him though, he was just happy enough to be able to enjoy the time with you that he had, and he knew there was no way he’d be able to ask you to consider someone you knew for less than a month over someone you had been in love with your entire life. Eren was realistic, and it wasn’t necessarily like he was preparing himself to ask you to be his girlfriend either. What the two of you had in that moment was perfect for him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When I said we weren’t seeing each other I was telling the truth, but it’s complicated I don’t know-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”  He cut you off. It was clear you weren’t comfortable spelling it out for him and it didn’t make sense to force you to do something that you weren’t completely comfortable with if he already knew what it was you were going to say. “I really get it, and I’m really fine with it. Neither of us owe each other loyalty, that's fine I promise.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You fell quiet as the two of you approached his dorm hall, unsure of what to say afterwards to lighten the mood. He led you inside, gently placing his hand on your lower back in an attempt to reassure you without making the situation more awkward than it already was. The walk to his dorm was quiet and you found yourself regretting bringing it up in the first place. You were sure that the two of you were already on the same page, you knew this, you were just trying to avoid having that conversation with the person that you genuinely needed to have it with and you hoped that talking to Eren about it would make up for it. As you followed him into the dorm you felt a wave of relief as you kicked off your shoes, moving them to the side of the door. You were getting ready to help yourself to a glass of water when he came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and planting a soft kiss on your cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can relax. I told you it’s okay.” He mumbled, his lips still being pressed against the side of your face. You blushed as you remained frozen in your spot. You covered your hands with his and nodded slightly with a smile on your face. You were thankful that he was always trying his best to make sure you were comfortable even though the two of you weren’t anything serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You smell like sweat.” You joked. He pulled away as you said this, opting to grab your hand instead as he slowly walked the two of you backwards. You turned so you were facing him, attempting to make sure he didn’t walk into any walls.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then we should go shower.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, not me.” He shot you an incredulous look before yanking your body against his. Your free hand rested on his chest as you looked up at him with a goofy smile, rolling your eyes at how dramatic he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did we not both work out? So I’m sweaty then you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>mega</span>
  </em>
  <span> sweaty, c’mon.” He pecked your lips in between sentences, making you feel your knees get weak as the butterflies formed at the pit of your stomach. He slowly led you into the bathroom, properly pulling you into a warm, deep kiss as he did so. You tugged his hair softly, pulling it out of the bun that he religiously left it in. Your fingers ran through his hair, pulling at it roughly as he nibbled on your bottom lip. You loved the way his eyelashes brushed against your skin every time he kissed you, the way his lips always left yours feeling slightly numb from the contact, the way he always kissed you like you were the only person on the earth. Being with Eren was like a vacation that you didn’t want to end, like a dream that you wished you’d never wake up from. You wished that things had been different. You wished that you had met Eren before you met the hazel eyed boy, maybe then you would be able to give yourself the love that you deserved. But that wasn’t the reality of the situation, that wasn’t what happened. Things weren’t different. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>hadn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span> met him first, and you were still infatuated with Connie whether you liked it or not. All of it was completely above you. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. 12 [nsfw]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Kinda feels like deja vu, huh?” Eren joked as he pulled his shirt over his head. Your heart fluttered at his words and you thought back to the night you met. You never imagined you would be here in this moment, and that he’d be the way he was. As perfect as he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except there’s no interruptions this time.” His lips found their way back to yours and you felt them curl into a smile as they pressed against yours. You were rested on the counter of the sink, your legs tightly wrapped around his waist as the two of you lost yourselves in each other. His hands roamed all over your body, caressing your curves before moving to cup your breasts. You could hear him laugh softly as he gently pinched your hardened nipples, the sensitivity causing you to gasp into the kiss. The sound of the showerhead running muffled your sighs of pleasure as the room began to fog up from the heat emitting from the water. His lips hesitantly pulled away from yours and you felt like you were moments away from completely losing yourself as he stared into your eyes, taking in every little detail. Your eyes were hazy from the kiss just like they were every time his lips met yours. You could tell that he wanted to say something then, the way he huffed like he was forcing whatever it was to the back of his mind. You knew that he wasn’t going to say anything even if you asked him because that was how he always was. Before you could ask if he was okay he pressed his lips against yours again, but this time it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>different. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His lips moved against yours in what you almost thought was a rushed manner, except the movement was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>slow</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>desperate</span>
  </em>
  <span>, like he had been denied the feeling of your lips against his for a lifetime, like it was the last time he’d ever kiss you. You felt the strength in your body evaporate and you slipped back, only to be caught by him before your head hit the mirror behind you. His grip tightened around you as he squeezed your body close to his. You were surprised when his lips pulled away from yours again. You panted as you took note of your lips tingling, the blood rushing to the area from the contact. He lifted you off of the counter, gently placing you on your feet but refusing to let go of you just in case you were weak to stand on your own. His eyes never left yours and you felt your mouth dry from the look he gave you. His eyes glistened to the point where you were almost convinced that they were watering and he pressed his forehead against yours. Your hands made their way to his brown locks and you lightly pressed your nose against his, completely in love with the closeness you felt to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turn around for me.” He said, his voice so soft it was barely above a whisper. You did as he said, turning around as his hands remained tightly at your sides. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, taking note of how whipped the two of you looked as you stared back at yourself. “Look at how pretty you are.” Your heart leapt again as he kissed your cheek softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful.” He continued in between kisses. His lips slowly moved down your jaw as he continued to mutter words of praise to you. You thought you were going to lose your mind at the gesture as your throat began to close up. Just as you were getting ready to say something he pulled away, pulling your shorts off of you before leading you into the shower. You watched as he followed suit, removing his briefs before stepping in beside you. The water felt perfectly warm against your skin and you shuddered at the feeling of his contrastingly cold hands running over your body. You couldn’t help but watch him in awe, he left you speechless. Before he got the chance to turn you around, you lowered yourself onto your knees, bringing your face close to his hardened dick. You wasted no time taking his length in your mouth, humming as you bobbed your head back and forth to provide him extra stimulation. You could feel his hips carefully buck forward into your mouth, meeting the same tempo as your head. Your right hand gripped at the unattended parts of his length, occasionally reaching down to massage his balls as you quickened your pace. The sound of his voice sent shivers down your spine and you felt your pussy throb. You brought your left hand down in response to the throbbing sensation and you began rubbing slowly at your clit, causing you to moan against his length repeatedly. His hands cupped the sides of your face and he immediately pulled you away from his length, knowing that he was getting ready to orgasm from the overwhelming sensation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lifting you up so you were stood before him, he gently spun you around and you placed your hands up against the tile wall, steadying yourself while pushing your ass back to position yourself. You felt his length rub against you lightly before he pushed himself in. The angle caused a long, low moan to leave your lips as you rolled your eyes back in pleasure. His strokes began at a steady controlled pace, curving perfectly against the sensitive spots against your walls. He reached his left hand upwards, cupping your breast in a careful motion as he used the other to grip your face with just as much care. You straightened yourself out a bit in an attempt to get your body to press against his more than it already was. You felt the space between his chest close at your movement as he pulled your head back slightly, trying to get a better look at you as he began thrusting slightly faster into you. You knew that you looked half present from the amount of stimulation his movements were giving you. Your eyes were half open, your eyelids lazily holding themselves up as your mouth remained in an indefinite “o” shape from the pressure his hand had on either side of your cheeks. You wished that you had enough energy to return the favor in any way, to be able to touch him, to praise him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but you were too gone to even hold yourself upwards confidently. The feeling of his lips against your neck caused you to cry out in pleasure, unable to censor yourself from the multitude of sensations he was causing you. Your body shook underneath him, legs unable to keep themselves up much longer and you were suddenly aware of the work out you had done just before then. His lips continued to slowly travel up the side of your neck, the feeling so good that you were convinced it had to have been </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain</span>
  </em>
  <span> because you knew pleasure couldn’t overwhelm you in such a way. You could only hum as his lips met yours, moving at an excruciatingly slow pace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The amount of stimulation you were receiving dulled your senses, not realizing that his grip on your face had left until you felt his fingers rub at your clit in a fast circular motion. Instinctively you nipped his bottom lip before crying out into his mouth. At the feeling of your knees buckling below you, his grip on your waist tightened, trying to hold you up at least until you were able to orgasm. Your right hand left the wall and immediately wrapped around to the back of his head, giving you more stability and more access to his lips. His lips vibrated against yours as his thrusts roughed slightly and he dipped his hips lower with each stroke, trying to rub the sensitive wall on the other side of your clit for more stimulation. It felt like you had been orgasming for an eternity, losing sense of time as you yanked your lips away from his and tilted your head back in immense pleasure. Your walls contracted violently against his cock and he let out a loud full moan, removing his hand from your clit and pulling out temporarily to steady himself. During the brief pause you were turned around, your body becoming lifeless as your legs lost all sensation from your orgasm. His hands lifted you at your waist and you instantly wrapped your arms around his neck and crossed your legs around his waist, using the last ounce of energy you had to keep the two of you from slipping and falling. The feeling of his length re-entering you caused you to gasp, your entrance significantly more sensitive from the orgasm you just had. You watched his facial expressions and he thrusted roughly into you, the way it contorted, the way his eyes stayed on yours, the way his bottom lip stayed in between his teeth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lips pressed against yours for a last time as his pace quickened inside you, his hands moving downwards to grip at your thighs on either side of him. Your lips parted into the kiss, allowing his tongue to roll gently against yours as he moaned lowly into your mouth. You could feel his length throbbing inside of you, only for a brief moment before pulling out and positioning his cock between your thighs. His body pressed against yours, keeping you flush against the wall as his grip on your thighs tightened more. Your hands moved to the sides of his face, caressing him gently as he rode out his orgasm against you. His moans choked out as he reluctantly pulled away from your lips to press his forehead against yours, reminding you of the sensation of the warm water against your skin. The moment he released your legs from his grip you leaned into him, barely able to hold yourself up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, are you okay?” He asked, his voice full of genuine concern as he brought his right hand up to caress your face. You managed to choke out a weak “tired” in response, to which he decided that he would do the honors of bathing you since you weren’t able to do so for yourself. You sighed at the feeling of him rubbing a soap filled cloth against your skin. He was so gentle, but each movement was firm. The butterflies in your stomach grew at the gesture, the way he took care of you with such sweetness. You slowly walked yourself to the side you were almost directly under the water once he was done scrubbing you off, only allowing your hair to remain directly untouched. The moment you were rinsed off you climbed out of the shower, wrapping yourself in the towel that you established was yours over the duration of the time you’d spent at his place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You managed to slip into one of his t-shirts and you rested on his bed with your towel folded neatly on the back of his desk chair, figuring that he’d put it back for you since you were too exhausted to put it back yourself. You waited patiently for what seemed like a lifetime as your eyes began to get heavy from the comfort of his bed. When he walked into the room you couldn’t help but blush at the sight of him with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist and a glass of water in his hand. He held out the glass to you and you took it gladly from him, your fingers grazing his in the process. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment as he got dressed and you finished the cup in your hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Connie’s stupid.” Your head snapped in his direction in response to the sudden comment. “And lucky. So fucking lucky.” You set the glass on the side table next to the bed and you watched him silently as he made his way into the bed. You didn’t know what to say to that, you knew that whatever you said would have hurt him more than you already had at that point. You hated yourself for being the kind of girl that you always ridiculed. You hated watching movies and having to watch the girl pick the guy that barely considered her when there was someone better for her waiting patiently, waiting right there. You never understood it, how could they set themselves up for pain? Did they not know their worth? Before you knew it you had become that very person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoever gets stuck with you is the lucky one.” You replied, attempting to mend the wound that you had carelessly opened. He grunted in response as you spooned him, your arms wrapped around him as you planted soft kisses on the top of his head. Eren always loved being the little spoon, and before you knew it you had loved it too. You loved the feeling of holding him especially when he always towered over you aside from then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happens if he never comes around?” His voice was soft as he turned his head to look at you. You paused. You hadn’t considered the possibility of him just deciding that you weren’t going to be what he wanted. The thought of it left a bitter taste in your mouth, and you sighed, shrugging against him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. It wouldn’t be fair to treat you like a second option, or a backup...if that’s what you’re asking.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I didn’t mind. What if I don’t care about being-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should.” You cut him off. You could hear the desperation in his voice as he spoke and it killed you inside. Part of you knew that you should’ve never agreed to go on that date when he asked. Part of you knew that you were setting both of yourselves up for a sad ending, and you hated yourself for being so selfish. “You’re too good to be anybody’s second choice Eren. You’re too good to allow yourself to be overlooked like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was silent as you spoke, knowing that there was some truth to your words. He wondered if the way he felt was how you felt when you saw Connie with Sasha that night, the way it felt to watch someone you cared about make a bad decision but you couldn’t do anything to stop it. The way it felt to feel overlooked when you were clearly the better option. The thought only made him sympathize with you more though, because he knew that the way you felt about Connie was essentially the same way he felt about you. He was perfectly fine with abandoning his pride and his morals if that meant that he could just be with you- whether it be temporary or not, and he knew that’s exactly how you were with Connie. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You decided to talk to Connie and tell him everything a week later. You started with the night of the party, trying to remind him who you it was you were talking about. You wondered if it was as uncomfortable for him as it was for you. Having to sit there and divulge the details of your most recent sex partner to Connie wasn’t something you saw yourself having to do- at least not in the current state of your relationship with him. The talk was long and painful, everything you wanted to say struggled to leave your mouth as you watched Connie’s face visibly become uncomfortable by the conversation. It hadn’t occurred to him that you really would go out and meet someone while he figured himself out. Every scenario that he painted in his mind when he told you that he needed time included you seeking comfort in Jean, Historia, or even Ymir while you did just what he expected- waiting. During the time that you loosened contact with Connie, he had been keeping his word. He initially spent the first few days contemplating if he should see Sasha, wondering if he’d be able to erase the previous moments that the two of you shared. In his mind commitment to you felt like he was jumping into something that he wasn’t sure if he was prepared for. The thought of him waking up one day and realizing that he didn’t feel the way the thought he did about you filled him with paranoia. It was like there was this suffocatingly large pressure on himself to make the right decision, and how was he supposed to do that without hurting anyone when he barely felt secure with who he was to both himself and to you. Hearing you debrief the last few days caused him to be overwhelmed by the feeling of irony from the entire situation. This entire time he assumed that you would be the one waiting for him to answer the phone, that you would be the one to wonder what he could be doing without you, that you would be the one left in the dark- but it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. For the first time he didn’t have complete access to you and the feeling left him lost- more than he was before. It wasn’t until then that he finally understood what it felt like to be you while you were dealing with him essentially your whole life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After you broke the news to him, the two of you had mutually decided to see each other less than you already were. It was mostly his idea, he was adamant on allowing you to “find yourself” before things got serious, but the truth was that he was scared. It wasn’t until then that a new fear dawned on him regarding the situation. The situation had flipped on itself and Connie was afraid that if he were to force you to make a decision then that you’d resent him in the long run. Who was to say that you weren’t going to miss Eren and regret choosing Connie in the end? Who was to say that you weren’t going to just pick Eren instead in that moment, considering everything Connie had done to your relationship with him just before then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The more time you spent with Eren the harder it was to picture him not actively in your life. In the week that led up to your confrontation with Connie, you hadn’t left Eren alone for more than a day. You began spending so much time at his apartment that Ymir was in your shared dorm more than you were. By this point you had spent just about a month involved with him, and you knew that the duration of your relationship was starting to complicate things for the both of you. You could feel Eren slowly start to get impatient with the entire situation- which you didn’t blame him for. You knew that the relationship that you’ve developed with him was more than it initially intended to be, and you didn’t know how to deal with the fact that you liked what you had with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were in Eren’s room, fixing your hair as he took a shower to get ready for the get together that the two of you were going to. Eren insisted that you go out with him that night, because you weren’t one to go partying with him hardly ever. Normally you would have opposed the idea, but you knew it would only be fair that you go considering he never hesitated to stay inside with you. You wore a black corset along with a matching lace garter set. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>hoped</span>
  </em>
  <span> that things would go the way that you played it out in your head. It had been three days since you last spoke to Connie during your confrontation, and you felt your conscience eat at you each day. You couldn’t look at Eren the same, you couldn’t have the same lighthearted conversations with him that you used to have, all of it was ruined. Everytime you looked at him you couldn’t help but think of the way Connie looked at you as you talked on and on about Eren. You knew your time with Eren was running up. You figured that it would be best to end things after this weekend, allowing the two of you to formulate one last run of good memories to share between each other- which was why you got dressed up. As far as you were concerned everything could blow up in your face at any moment, so any day could potentially be your last day with him. Part of you hoped that you’d be able to make up for the frustration you’ve put Eren through by going to this party with him and treating that night like a special occasion, but something about the gesture just felt </span>
  <em>
    <span>fake</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You got dressed with haste, making sure Eren wouldn’t see your lingerie when he got out of the shower. As he walked into the room the smell of fresh soap filled your nose, causing you to let out a relaxed sigh as you closed your eyes, trying to calm your news. He made his way over to you almost immediately, making sure to be careful not to mess up your look as he lightly kissed your cheek. You could hear him whisper his usual chorus of “You’re so pretty” and “You look good” as he peppered small kisses on your cheek. A weak smile crept its way onto your face as you hummed in response, knowing that anything you said would reveal how anxious you were feeling. You made yourself comfortable sitting on the edge of his bed once he pulled away to get dressed. Turning to your phone you noticed Connie had texted you only a few minutes ago. Without realizing you looked up from your phone, checking to see if Eren was looking at your screen- which he wasn’t. The familiar feeling of guilt rose in your throat as you lowered your brightness setting and opened the message. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connie: “Are you going out tonight I wanna see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You: “I'm going to a small party with Eren, maybe I’ll see you tomorrow or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Connie: “Perfect, can’t wait to meet him see you later.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your eyebrows furrowed and you closed your phone, refusing to justify him with a response. You knew that he was mostly bluffing, Connie wasn’t one to show up where he wasn’t generally wanted. The feeling of anxiousness settled at the pit of your stomach despite how much you rationalized with yourself how unlikely it would be that he would actually show up to the party. To your knowledge he wasn’t even within the same circles as Eren, </span>
  <em>
    <span>aside from Jean</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Upon the realization you immediately looked up at the boy in front of you who was now fully dressed and dealing with his hair. He watched you through the mirror in front of him, raising his eyebrow as you looked at him with urgency on your face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know if Jean is gonna be there tonight?” You tried to keep your voice relaxed and levelled, but the change in tone didn’t go unnoticed by the latter. His green eyes left their focus on you and returned back to his hair as he brushed it out carelessly before pulling it up into a bun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, he never said. You know him though, you know he’s into parties.” He replied, his voice becoming monotone as the realization dawned on him. “If you’re worried about seeing Connie there, don’t be.” This caused you to completely put your phone down, not wanting to draw more attention to yourself than you had already done. You mentally chastised yourself for even asking the boy in front of you. He was right, you were friends with Jean as well, if anything you could have just asked him directly and saved yourself from the awkwardness that you were in. Normally you wouldn’t purposely bring up anything remotely related to Connie around Eren- mostly out of consideration for his feelings and the position that he was in, and now here you were essentially asking about him directly to the brunette.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not what-” You tried to save the situation weakly, only resulting in a mild eye roll from the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you were, it’s fine.” He turned to you, walking up to the edge of the bed before cupping your face with his hands and pressing his lips to your forehead. “You acting like this is just gonna make the situation weird, don’t be weird about it it’s fine.” The guilt was only festering and growing in your conscience as he spoke, and all you wanted to do was get out of that room. You nodded slowly in response, waiting for him to let go of you so you could make your way to the door. Almost immediately he took a step back, letting go of you as you looked up at him from the lack of contact. As you looked up at his face you could see the small glint that he had the night you met was gone, and you could tell he was mindlessly going through the motions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You grabbed his hand once you lifted yourself off of his bed, pulling him behind you with determination as you made your way out of his room to the rest of the dorm. You could feel his hand relax in yours as he continued to follow you towards the front door where you stopped to allow him to put on his shoes. While he let go of your hands to slip on his shoes you rubbed your temples with your hands, wincing from the relief the pressure brought you. Your eyes fluttered closed and you let out a sigh of relief as the realization that you’d soon be crossed and unconcerned with anything floated from the back of your mind. You knew that the only way you’d be able to get through that night was if you had gotten high or drunk- there was no way you’d be able to deal with the anxiety of Connie potentially appearing before the two of you any other way. It had always been one thing for you to deal with the two men on their own separate time, at least then you still felt in control of the situation, but this was completely different. There was no way for you to control the situation now if they were to meet each other directly. The moment Eren managed to get himself together the two of you made your way out of the dorm, walking in a comfortable silence towards the party venue as you played out every possible scenario for the night in your head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The walk was brief, lasting only about 10 minutes before you got to the area where people who had already pregamed were stumbling on the grass lawn, attempting to make their way inside. The music was loud enough for you to feel the vibrations run throughout your body and the house was crowded, causing you to side eye Eren in annoyance since his definition of a small get together was </span>
  <em>
    <span>incredibly </span>
  </em>
  <span> different from yours. Catching you glaring at him, he placed his hand on your lower back gently, holding you close to him as he got close to your ear so you could hear him through the mixture of loud noises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go to the back porch. I got something for us.” Intrigued by what he prepared for the both of you, you nodded and followed him at his request. The two of you lazily pushed through the sloppy mass of bodies that were unaware of their surroundings as you walked towards the back of the house. As the two of you made your way towards the porch, you could make out a mass of red hair that you remembered seeing the night that you met Eren. The boy was sitting on the porch fence, facing the inside of the house as he broke into a smile at the sight of the green eyed boy that you were with. As Eren opened the porch door the boy waved at the both of you while reaching in his jacket pocket with his free hand. You watched his hand carefully in an attempt to see what it was Eren had purchased for you, and your eyes widened once you noticed the two small white pills that were in a small ziplock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Floch how’ve you been?” Eren greeted the red head as the ziplock was placed into his right hand before quickly opening it and holding out one pill for you. You immediately held out your hand, looking between him and floch as you swallowed without hesitation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, I owe you for last time so don’t worry about payment, it's on me.” You watched as the two greeted each other briefly before the transaction ended and Floch made his way off of the porch. The moment Floch left his sight, Eren quickly dropped the remaining pill into his mouth, swallowing as he shoved the plastic into his pocket. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your gift for me was molly?” You raised your eyebrow at him as he moved towards the porch fence, hoisting himself onto it so he could sit on the edge. His face broke into a cheeky smile as he shrugged at you, causing you to roll your eyes as you walked closer to him, relaxing yourself in between his legs as you wrapped your arms around his waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re telling me that’s a bad gift? We’re literally about to have the best night of our life and it’s all thanks to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you get limp dick from the molly this is over.” You joked, causing him to lightly smack the back of your head in response. You had only done the drug once before with the company of Ymir and Historia, and it was a fun experience for the most part. The three of you bonded that night in a way that you never saw yourself doing before- especially with how standoffish Ymir normally was. It was like being able to experience a completely different side of her. You enjoyed the couples presence, up until the full effect of the molly kicked in and they had left you alone to have a sex marathon in Ymir’s room </span>
  <em>
    <span>to which you proceeded to argue with her over the next morning</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Snapping you out of your thoughts, you felt Eren tense up against you and you looked up at him, watching in confusion as you saw him clench his jaw. You had never seen him visibly angry before- since the two of you didn’t really have the tendency to fight. You couldn’t tell if it was the molly or the sight of his anger causing your mouth to dry, but the settling feeling of dread making its way to the pit of your stomach almost made you sick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up? What’s wrong?” You tried to pull his attention from whatever he was looking at behind you, but there was no response. At the lack of response you turned around, trying to see for yourself what the sight was that made him so worked up. It took you a moment to process what you were looking at as you scanned the disorienting space inside. The house was full of people so it was hard for you to focus your eyes on each person individually,  but then you saw something. The sight of shaggy light brown hair came into focus, and you felt your heartbeat start to pick up pace as you mentally prayed to yourself that you weren’t looking at who you thought it was. You could feel Eren’s hands quickly grip the sides of your waist roughly as if he was afraid you’d walk off then and there. As you continued looking at the lump of brown hair in the crowd, you cursed as the sight of silver hair came into your line of sight right beside the other. All of the anxieties that you had about going to the party earlier came back with full force as you tried to back up into Eren more, wanting desperately to hide in him. Your hands covered his and you squeezed as you watched the heads move in your direction through the large mass. A pair of familiar hazel eyes locked onto yours as the full image of Jean and Connie made its way through the crowd of people and towards the balcony that you and Eren were relaxed on. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This was going to be a long night.</span>
  </em>
</p>
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